Morrigan, the Queen of Nightmares.
by Exes and Ohs. 2
Summary: Harry's got nightmares,and no one seems to know what's wrong.Snape's tried helping,even a new apprentice Seer.Lupin pulls a memory charm off of Harry,who discovers things he didn't want to know.*Sequel's a HP/DM slash* Intended slash,but not until sequel.
1. //I don't want you to give it all up\\

**Disclaimer:** As always, I'm buying the rights to this as soon as I start my $5.50 an hour job in November.

-----*-----

The darkness enveloped him in a blanket, crushing him, forcing him into the hole of empty black. He opened his mouth to cry out in pain and fear, trying to gasp for air. The dark stayed constant as his breathing became more shallow and he struggled more and more to fight past it, his lungs burning, wanting to breath. He let out a small scream as the dark started to dissipate, his fists clenching the bed sheets as his chest heaved, trying to take in as much air as he could, until his eyes flew open and revealed his brightly lit bedroom. The window was open, and a soft breeze was pushing his torn curtains.

"Harry's screaming like a girl!" Dudley chanted, running past the bedroom door.

"Does that mean he's finally up?" Aunt Petunia barked from down the stairs.

Harry ran a shaky hand through his raven hair as drops of sweat trickled down his temple and cheek. He put on his glasses and wiped his face with his blanket before walking over to his bureau, looking in the mirror.

"That nightmare shouldn't have reoccurred." Harry frowned at his reflection, picking up the parchment that had been carelessly dropped on the top of the dresser the day before. Next to it was a small glass bottle that was half full of a clear lavender liquid.

"_The potion probably won't work immediately, though it will relieve the intensity of both your nightmares and 'day visions'. If you have anything else to ask of me, _please_ don't hesitate to ask. It's my vacation, too._"

The sneer in the letter was unmistakable, and Harry frowned, feeling guilty for having written Snape for something as stupid as nightmares. True, he'd had them for over two months now, and he had lost a great deal of sleep, but it was still not serious. He hadn't written Sirius, afraid that something would happen to his Godfather if he found out he had been having nightmares.

The potion, however, definitely hadn't helped with the intensity of the nightmare. If anything, it made it a bit worse. He actually couldn't breathe this time, and that was a bad sign. Sending another owl to Snape or even Dumbledore wasn't necessary - school was going to start in a few weeks. He only had to hold on a bit longer.

"Are you up yet, boy!?" Uncle Vernon pounded on the door impatiently, and Harry jumped, spinning and facing the door.

"Yes, Uncle Vernon." Harry replied with a sigh, closing his eyes, trying to stop his heart from pounding in his ears. He didn't feel at all like he was sixteen.

"Then you better get downstairs and make us some breakfast!" Uncle Vernon snapped, and his heavy footsteps started to retreat down the hallway, but then came back to the door, "and there's a man in the kitchen. He made quite an interesting offer regarding you. May end your blasted nightmares."

Harry frowned, thinking it was quite odd that he'd invited some unknown stranger into the house, who obviously knew of Harry. Then again, when you haven't slept more then 5 hours a night, crazy things happen to you. The fact that Uncle Vernon was being almost, well, _nice_, didn't help him much either.

Once Harry had changed into some clean clothes, he checked himself in the mirror again, rubbing his scar. It burned slightly, but when had it not lately? He hurried down the stairs, and with each step, his scar stung a bit more. Figuring it was from lack of sleep or fear of who the stranger was, he continued into the kitchen. The door swung open, and Harry was met with blinding pain. He doubled over, his hand over his scar as it burned, feeling as though a knife was digging through it.

"What are you doing, boy?" Uncle Vernon barked, his chair scraping across the floor as he stood up. "Get over there and fix us some food!"

Harry tried to focus on the person at the dining table, who was laughing hysterically. Aunt Petunia let out a sudden scream, grabbing Dudley, while Uncle Vernon grabbed the first thing that came to mind - a butter knife that was lying on the counter top.

Voldemort rose from the chair, his wand pointed directly at Harry's chest. "I hear you've had nightmares lately. Well, this will _surely_ end them, won't they?" He asked, his red eyes staring deep into Harry's, grinning before mumbling, "_Avada Kedavra_."

  
  


Harry hit the wooden floor with a loud "thump", sending pain shooting through his body. He moaned quietly, remaining on the floor, afraid of throwing up any food he may have in his stomach. Judging by the smell in the room, though, he didn't have much of anything left in his stomach.

"Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked from the doorway, covering her face in a yawn. She sighed and frowned, walking around to help him up.

"I'm sorry." Harry mumbled, allowing her to help him.

"Oh, nonsense!" She waved her wand at the bed, removing the dirty sheets and blanket, replacing the bed with new linens. "Are you feeling better?"

"I think so." Harry nodded.

Mrs. Weasley fixed the bed a bit more before going to the dresser and pulling out a clean robe. She brushed the black damp hair off of Harry's face, frowning.

"They're getting worse, aren't they?" She asked as Ron came and stood in the doorway.

"No." Harry lied, forcing a smile. "They aren't as bad as before. I think I may be coming down with something. Thank you, though, for being so nice and everything."

"No problem, dear." She smiled, kissing his cheek. "Now, you get changed and get right back in bed. In the morning, if you're feeling alright, you and the boys can go to Hogsmeade."

Harry wanted to argue with her, because he knew she was doing it to make him feel better. But that was just it. They had done so much for him already this summer, and all he did in return was keep them up in the night. Guilt constantly gnawed his conscience.

Mrs. Weasley said good night and allowed Ron into the room before shutting the door behind her. Ron hesitated, watching as Harry crawled blindly into the bed. His glasses had been broken the day before, and they hadn't had time to fix it yet.

"You shouldn't lie to mum like that, Harry. If she finds out, she'll freak out." Ron said quietly, sitting on the bed next to his friend.

"She _won't_ find out. Besides, I don't want her worrying so much over me. It was kind enough for you to take me in after the Dursleys died." Harry sighed, picking at the newest blanket, "putting yourselves in danger because of me."

"Hey now." Ron grabbed Harry's jaw, forcing Harry to face him, "don't go saying that shit, okay? We aren't in any danger! You know that as well as I do! Dumbledore made sure we were safe with you here. Besides, you're my best friend. Why would I just sit around and not help you out?"

Harry wouldn't meet his best friends eyes. Truth was, Harry wasn't sure whether or not the Weasleys could stand him much longer. He'd been living with them for nearly two months, and every single night Harry would wake up screaming. Usually, he'd be in a little bit of pain, but sometimes he'd be in so much pain from the nightmares, he'd throw up. Once he passed out, and yet, Madam Pomfrey had found nothing wrong with him.

"Listen to me! You aren't some kind of burden. I promise you that. Sure, no one likes to be waken up at 2 am, " Ron playfully pushed Harry, "but we do it because we love you. Mum loves you like you were one of her own. She worries about you all the time. Don't act like we don't want you here, because we do. If you weren't here, I'd be miserable."

"I know.." Harry sighed and gave his friend a smile. "Thanks."

"Dad's going to talk to someone about your nightmares, okay? We've all lost at least half as much sleep as you have. We want to sleep too." Ron grinned, pushing Harry lightly again.

"Yeah yeah." Harry lied down, giving Ron one last smile. "Night."

Ron said goodnight and left the room, closing the door behind him.

-----*------

"Thank you, my good pet." Voldemort hissed, observing the Burrow, with a figure at his side, grinning wildly. "You will be rewarded greatly."

With one gesture of his arm, hundreds of Death Eaters charged the house. Some apparated, others used windows and doors. The remaining stayed and guarded the outside, in case anyone tried to escape. Sudden screams were heard as a Death Eater raised his wand to the sky, emitting the Dark Mark. Voldemort watched the scene, pleased with himself. The house caught fire from a curse that Arthur tried using on someone. Green light flashed everywhere into the night sky, evidence of the Avada Kedavra spell. Aurors would be arriving soon, so Voldemort yelled at his followers to hurry and bring Harry outside. Moments later, a group of Death Eaters came outside, holding a writhing Harry Potter.

Instead of abuse and torture that Harry had always thought he'd get, all Voldemort did was raise his wand, grinning before he killed Harry.

  
  


Harry woke up again as light spilled into the room. He looked around quickly and jumped back in surprise. Professor Snape and Dumbledore sat together, their eyes locked on Harry curiously.

"Good morning, Harry." Dumbledore smiled.

"Good morning." Harry replied, wiping his sweaty face with his blanket. Dumbledore stood and handed him his fixed glasses, which Harry accepted thankfully.

"How have you been?" Dumbledore asked, and Harry sighed.

"I've been better." Harry slid on his glasses, "What are you doing here? Nothing's wrong with anyone, right?"

"Everyone is fine. Well, almost everyone. We stopped by to watch your sleep patterns to see if we missed anything in your past visit at the Hospital Wing." Dumbledore explained, sitting down next to Snape again, "if you don't mind, we'd like to stay and watch you sleep, and have you tell us what your dreams are about."

"I'd rather not talk about my dreams.." Harry said quietly, "but I don't mind you trying to help me, other than that."

"Alright. Professor Snape will watch you for the most part. I have some students back at Hogwarts for the summer, unfortunately. He's willing to make you some potions and see if they work. If you're willing to."

"Of course I'm willing to." Harry said quickly, "I haven't slept in two months."

-------------------

I've spent a long time writing this. I've written it all out on paper - there are roughly 10 chapters in this story. You could at least leave a *small* note for me :)


	2. //I'm not faking it, baby I'm making it\...

**Disclaimer:** As always, I own nothing but the plot and a *future* character by the name of Reilly. However, when I start my $5.50/hr job in November, I'll buy the rights off of ebay for $50. Thanks!

**Warning:** Slight absurd language. Eventually will be DM/HP slash, though I won't go into detail for the most part.

-----*-----

The trip to Diagon Alley this year wasn't too exciting for Harry. If anything, it was more of a hassle for Harry. He kept tripping over things in the road because he was so tired he couldn't see straight. The past two weeks had been much like this for him. Snape had stayed in Harry's room at night and watched his sleep patterns, trying to figure out something that would help. Nothing helped, though. Everyday, Snape would make a trip to the Apothecary, and every night, the potion never worked. Now Snape was losing sleep, and getting, if plausible, more angrier.

Tonight, Snape decided, would be the last night of watching Harry sleep. He had concocted a potion that would hopefully relieve the intensity of the nightmares. What made Snape deeply concerned, and he showed it too, was the fact that _nothing_ was helping. He told Mr. Weasley (Harry had eavesdropped) that if the nightmares weren't stopped before school started, he'd have to stay out of school and get checked into St. Mungos. Harry hoped that Snape wasn't right.

"What do you think we'll get for Dark Arts this year?" Ron asked as they picked through different books in the book store. Their list for school indicated they'd have a hard year ahead of them. Harry merely shrugged, while Hermione started talking.

"Well, I hope nothing bad! Last year we had a vampire! At least Professor Lupin had Professor Snape to look after him!" She said in her usual disapproving tone. "Though I wouldn't mind a girl teacher."

Their DADA teacher last year had been a vampire, but never attacked anyone in the school. A few nights before school ended, however, the professor went out and never came back. It had been in the paper that a Death Eater had been attacked, and was now in Azkaban (having received the Kiss too), and the vampire had been killed by the furious Death Eater.

"I hope Lupin comes back, personally." Harry said softly in a dazed sort of tone.

"Yeah, he was really cool." Ron sighed as the bookstore owner got around to helping them. He got them their books quickly before they paid for their stuff and left.

They continued walking down the street, trying to decide where to go next. Well, Ron was - Hermione was walking alongside Harry, trying to figure out how to talk to him. Harry, on the other hand, was having an awful time. He was trying to stay on his feet. He hadn't told anyone lately that he'd felt really sick, because he thought it'd pass. But now, walking and not having any time to sit or rest, was taking it's toll on him.

Sudden screams invaded Harry's hearing. Apparently, no one else heard it except him, and it was starting to upset him. He grabbed Hermione's arm and squeezed it tightly, gasping for breath. Darkness started to block his vision, the screams getting more and more louder. His nails dug into her skin, and he could feel himself falling to the ground. People were grabbing at him and trying to help him in anyway they knew how, but it wasn't helping. Before his breathing stopped, he had one thought: the voice belonged to Sirius.

-----*-----

Harry woke up with a pounding headache and the faint sound of _beep..beep..beep_. Confused, he tried to open his eyes and figure out what he heard. The last thing he remembered was passing out after hearing someone scream.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter."

Harry moaned, trying to sit up and open his eyes to focus on the person next to him.

"No, no, you shouldn't get up." He said, his voice free of the usual sneer. He softly pushed Harry back onto his back. "You should get some rest before you try anything."

"What happened?" Harry asked, finally opening his eyes. His vision was horribly blurred, but he could just make out the image of Snape.

"We think you just collapsed from exhaustion. You haven't slept much in a long time." Snape cleared his throat, "however, you seem fine now."

"Where's Ron?"

"Your friends were sent back home, seeing as how they could get some sleep with you gone." Snape said, picking at the blanket nervously.

"Oh, okay." Harry said, closing his eyes.

"I was to stay until you woke up, " Snape stood up, the chair scratching against the ground, "and since you're up, I must get back to my family. If you need anything, call a doctor or nurse in here."

"Wait, " Harry said, confused, opening his eyes, "where am I?"

"You're in St. Mungos. Where else would you be?" Snape asked, and Harry sunk into the bed, upset. He thought he had been in Hogwarts, "You're far too ill to be in Hogwarts' Hospital Wing, Mr. Potter."

"Oh." Harry sighed, closing his eyes.

"Like I said, " Snape looked down at the pale boy, "I must get back to my family. Dumbledore has arranged for the Ministry to bring you to Hogwarts themselves, so that you aren't putting anyone else in danger. We can't have another scene from Diagon Alley again."

Harry wanted to ask Snape about his family, just so that he would have someone to talk to. That would be kind of rude, though, assuming he didn't have a family of his own. Another thought crossed his mind. What happened to Sirius? But Snape was gone and it was too late, and all Harry could do was lie back and pout.

---------------

**Authors Note:** Hey! Chapter 2! Hoorah! Short, yes, but longer next time.

**Next Chapter:** Due out next Monday.


	3. //Say it ain't so\\

After a few days, Harry had been released from St. Mungos. It was comforting, too. He hadn't had a single nightmare in his stay. It comforted the Weasleys greatly too. Ron and Hermione were excited, because that meant that Harry would be able to go back to school with them.

Unfortunately, people's luck really bites. Like Harry's for example.

The night he was back at the Burrow was the worst so far. He had come home, and had the time of his life. Laughing and everything, no worries of nightmares haunting him anymore. He had gone to bed, truly happy and not thinking once about Voldemort's red eyes staring at him in his sleep, or someone's screams invading his thoughts.

Choking sounds came from Harry's room that night, causing a very confused Mr. Weasley to come check on Harry. Harry was in his bed, literally suffocating, gasping for breath. Once he had some breath in his lungs, he'd let out painful screams and cries, then go back to trying to get air in. Arthur cursed, pulling out his wand and making an air tight mask around Harry's mouth and nose, slowly easing his suffering.

"It's okay. Nothing's here to harm you, Harry." Mr. Weasley said softly. The doctors at St. Mungos had said that in case Harry had any nightmares, speaking to him softly and trying to comfort him would definitely help him, "go on back to sleep, Harry, it's alright. Nothing will hurt you."

Once he was sure Harry was asleep, Mr. Weasley decided to keep the air mask on his face in case, then left the room, keeping the door ajar. Running a shaky hand through his graying hair, Arthur descended the stairs to write a letter to Dumbledore immediately. He woke up Errol on his way, then grabbed some ink, a quill and parchment from the desk and sat down, lighting a few candles around him.

_Dear Professor Dumbledore, _

Tonight, Harry woke up with another nightmare. I'm not sure if we should be concerned or not, but I'm writing you in case. He hadn't had nightmares in three days, and we thought he was better. They released him today, as you may know, and he came home, happier than he has been in months. A little while ago, I was waken up hearing choking sounds. Upon entering Harry's room, I found him in a cold sweat, screaming and trying to breathe. He was suffocating, sir. I'm quite alarmed, and I'm not sure whether it's a good idea or not to bring him back to St. Mungos. They helped out while he was there, but he can't stay there forever.

Please contact me immediately. I'd prefer if you sent the letter to my office, so that Molly doesn't get concerned herself.

Thank you, sir.

Arthur Weasley

He folded the letter and put it on Errol's leg. "Hurry, Errol. To Professor Dumbledore. It's _urgent_."

The owl took off through an open window immediately. Arthur stood up, blew out the candles, and hurried back to bed, hoping the letter would get to Dumbledore quickly.

-----*-----

Harry woke up late into the afternoon the next day, fully rested. Confusion set over him when he took the plastic face mask off, but figured he had done it in his sleep. Often he'd wake up with odd things he'd made in his sleep, trying to 'defend' himself in his nightmare. He looked at the clock, and raised an eyebrow, surprised. It was 1 in the afternoon, and that was quite a feat for someone who had been having such a hard time over the summer. He hurried downstairs hungrily, not bothering to check his appearance in the mirror.

"Good! You're up!" Mrs. Weasley beamed at him, and he fell into a chair at the dining table. "We were all worried about you. You slept a good deal, dear. Now, how about some food?"

"Yes please." Harry nodded, grinning, and Mrs. Weasley put some food on a plate and heated it quickly with her wand before giving it to him. "Thank you!"

"Don't worry about it, dear." She smiled again as George and Ginny ran in from outside, tripping over their own feet, advancing toward Harry.

"Harry! You've got to play quidditch with us!" George said, falling into a chair next to Harry. Ginny narrowed her eyes at her brother, turning and facing Harry.

"Be on my team!" Ginny said excitedly, and Harry shook his head.

"I don't think I'm going to play, you guys."

"NONSENSE!" George roared, conjuring up another fork and helping Harry shovel food into his mouth, "You're playing with us, and you're not getting out of it!"

Harry slowed down his eating and drank some pumpkin juice. "Fine! But only five minutes!"

  


An hour later, Harry, Ron, George, Fred, Lee Jordan, Ginny, Hermione, Bill, Charlie and other friends of Fred and George's came into the house. Half of the boys had cut up knees and faces, but they were all in high spirits. Harry's team had won after he caught the snitch (he swore it had been rigged so that Fred could catch it, but Harry was better than they all thought). Mrs. Weasley was sitting on the couch, smiling and watching them dig through cupboards, talking and laughing loudly.

Harry, on the other hand, didn't join in. He was happy, yes, but now his vision was blurring, and he needed a rest. He knew he shouldn't have over worked himself today, but he did it anyway, thinking he could handle it. After he collapsed days prior, he was told to take it easy. Of course, you can't tell Harry Potter he has to take things easy.

"Are you alright, dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked, tilting her head to the side, eyeing Harry.

"Yeah, just need a break, thanks." He smiled, sinking into the comfortable reclining chair beside the couch. He closed his eyes, and was met with red eyes glaring at him. He sat up quickly, opening his eyes, and everyone stopped and turned to him.

"What is it?" Ron asked, and Harry shook his head.

"Another vision. It's okay." Harry relaxed again, taking a deep breath before shutting his eyes. Everyone watched him in silence until his breathing evened out and they were sure he was asleep.

-----*-----

Mrs. Weasley, along with her husband and Ron, who's bedroom was next to Harry's, stampeded into Harry's bedroom that night around 1 am. Ron gasped, shrinking back with his mother as Arthur conjured up another breathing mask. It wasn't helping any. Harry was on his bed, his body convulsing from apparent seizures. His eyelids were halfway open, only showing the whites of his eyes.

"Mum!" Ron whispered, grasping his mother's hand, "What's wrong?"

"Arthur, help him!" Molly said, tears in her eyes, trying to turn Ron around so he wouldn't see the scene.

Mr. Weasley ran a hand shakily through his hair and turned to his wife and son, "He needs to get to the hospital. Now."

----------------------

It's short again.

So sorry.

School's the next part, though, and the first 'Draco/Harry' scene. Mwahahaha..

**Next Chapter is Monday.**


	4. //Time and again I've asked you\\

Harry woke up, knowing exactly where he was without opening his eyes. He could hear the beeps from beside him and the sound of people rushing around outside of the room. The only difference, though, was that he had tubes in his throat and nose, and he was quite uncomfortable. He opened his eyes and moaned a little, regretting it immediately as he started coughing and wincing as the tube rubbed the inside of his throat.

"No! Don't move!" Mrs. Weasley said, starting to get hysterical as she jumped up and quickly tried to make him comfortable, "Are you alright? Tired? Hurt? Does your head ache, or your back?"

Harry blinked at her, confused. He had no idea why he was here. No idea at all. Mr. Weasley chuckled and pulled his wife back and out of the room, and Dumbledore, Professor Snape and Professor Lupin walked in. Lupin looked at him anxiously, concern etched in his face. Dumbledore was frowning and taking in everything, and Snape just stared.

"Only you, Mr. Potter, " Snape said quietly, "Can find a way to make my summer just as miserable as the school term."

"Now now, Professor, " Dumbledore smiled, pulling up a chair next to Harry, "Our dear Mr. Potter has been through quite a lot. Now, we believe, Harry, that you'll be fine after this. No more nightmares."

Harry blinked again, gagging on the tube. Lupin frowned and hurried out of the room.

"Relax. We don't want you hurting yourself right now." Dumbledore said softly, "You've given us, if possible, more of a scare than ever before. But everything's fine now."

"You've got a nice shiner, though." Snape commented from the other side of the bed where he stood rigidly.

Harry reached up and touched his right eye, then winced when he felt the bruise.

"It's from one of your seizures. You were in here and fell and hit your head on a metal table and started bleeding everywhere. I'm surprised you got out of it alive." Dumbledore sighed, shaking his head and smiling again, "But, like I said, no more nightmares, because that was supposed to be the last step in any kind of mental state."

Confused, Harry scowled. Snape smiled a little, nodding to Dumbledore, who nodded back, grinning and chuckling.

"So you _are_ with us, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, and Harry scowled in confusion again, "Good. Your friends are packing your things. The Hogwarts Express leaves tomorrow, but we don't think you'll make it."

Before Harry started to panic, Dumbledore explained, "If you're well enough, we will allow Professor Lupin to ride with you on the train (A/N: bad, dirty thoughts..mm, Lupin..). If not, we'll wait until you're better, then have the Ministry bring you themselves. It's no problem, Harry. We all understand."

Professor Lupin walked back into the room with a doctor and a few nurses behind him. The doctor checked over Harry's chart as the nurse's started to clean up a little.

"So, Harry Potter, " The doctor smiled, and extended a hand, shaking Harry's firmly, "I'm glad you're awake now. Before we start, my name is Dr. Tohme(A/N:Pronounced toe may). Are you tired?" Harry nodded, "Hungry?" Harry shook his head slightly, "Desperate to get out of here?" Harry nodded quickly, making everyone chuckle, "Well, as soon as we get you checked up, we'll figure out what to do. It might hurt and gag you a bit as we take the tube out from your throat, but I think you'll live."

The nurses moved to the side of the bed that Snape was standing, and he moved back, making sure to keep his eyes on Harry, in case. The doctor had his wand out, saying different charms to the curtains, pulling them back and opening a window. A slight breeze came in, and Harry focussed on that and flying, trying to get his hopes up as the nurses took out the tube. Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad.

"Okay, good job." Tohme said, moving in between the nurses and the bed, bending over, "_Lumos_." He said to the wand, and it lit up brightly. He waved it over Harry's eyes, pulling back his eyelids and the such, and frowned. He did it once more before straightening up and shaking his head slightly at Dumbledore, "Good, Harry. Now, can you tell me, what do you like most about school?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at Lupin, and they both watched Harry, curiously.

"Flying." Harry said hoarsly, swallowing and wincing as his throat hurt.

"Not your friends?" Tohme asked, taken aback. Usually, patients said 'friends' or the class they liked.

"Them too." Harry replied, feeling more and more tired, "Quidditch..feasts..classes.." Harry's eyes closed as he took a deep breath, "Draco.." He mumbled before falling into a deep sleep.

Snape, Lupin and Dumbledore stared at each other, completely blown out of the water by his last comment. Then Dumbledore grinned.

"Gentlemen, " He said as Dr. Tohme put Harry's chart back in it's place and left the room with the nurses, "I believe there's going to be some new kinds of drama this year."

-----*-----

The next morning, Harry found himself on Platform 9 ¾ with Hermione, Ron, Fred, George and Ginny. Harry rolled his neck, sighed, and looked around the area. Everyone was getting on the train with their friends right now, and all Harry wanted to do was the same.

"Come on, you shouldn't be standing up for so long." Hermione said, concerned, helping Harry by carrying Hedwig's cage. Someone, who probably worked on the train, came over and helped Harry carry the trunk onto the train and into an empty compartment.

"Thanks." George said to the man, giving him a small tip. Fred and George waited until Harry was comfortable before they left to go find their friends. Ginny said bye and left, while Professor Lupin entered.

"Morning." He said, sitting next to the window, putting his battered briefcase on the floor beside his feet, "How are you three this morning?"

"Tired." Harry mumbled.

"Bored." Ron sighed, and Hermione scowled at the two before smiling at the professor.

"I'm quite excited to be starting school again." She glanced at Harry before sitting back.

"What classes are you taking?" Lupin asked, trying to keep the conversation light. Inside, he was dying to talk to Harry about everything that was going on, but he knew he couldn't.

"Muggle studies." Ron scowled, "Dad's making me take it. He says that I have to teach him everything I've learned."

"That'll be interesting. Best wishes, Ron. Good luck." Lupin smiled, "Harry? Hermione? What about you two?"

"Arithmacy again." Hermione replied.

The two turned to Harry, and he said lazily, "Arithmacy and Divination."

"Oh, Divination counts?" Ron asked, "Then I'm taking that too."

Lupin smiled and shook his head. Harry leaned up against the window, exhausted.

"Harry, are you feeling alright?" Hermione asked, putting her hand on his forehead tenderly, "You feel warm."

"I'm tired." Harry replied, closing his eyes.

Lupin mentally kicked himself. He should've persuaded Snape to keep him at St. Mungos longer, because he was obviously still sick. Unfortunately, Snape insisted that Harry was fine and could come to school, and if Harry was sick, then he could see Poppy.

Hermione remained silent and pursed her lips, shaking her head at Harry. Ron rolled his eyes, probably trying to hide his concern also. Harry kept his eyes closed, but jumped when the compartment doors swung open.

"Well, if it isn't, " Draco Malfoy stood in the doorway, and frowned, "Hello, Professor Lupin."

"Good morning, Draco. Have a nice summer?" Lupin asked, a hint of laughter in his voice. He glanced at Harry, who was staring at Draco, trying to look pissed off.

"Quite." Draco replied dryly. His eyes roamed from Ron to Hermione to Harry, where he grinned, "Get in an accident, Potter?"

"Shut up." Harry said calmly, and Draco smirked more.

"Nice bruise. Who gave that to you? Your uncle?" Draco asked, his arms crossed in front of his chest. Harry just shrugged, "Is that a yes, Potter? Yes, he beat you and -"

"That's quite enough, Mr. Malfoy, " Lupin stood up, towering above Draco, scowling, "What happened is none of your business, and I suggest you go before Professor Snape or Dumbledore hears about this."

Draco kept his eyes on Harry for a moment before turning around, pushing Crabbe and Goyle in front of him, "Come on, let's go. No one can take jokes around here."

Once the door was shut again, Harry said sarcastically, "Thanks."

Lupin ignored it and sat back down, discussing what they would be doing at the beginning of the term. Harry drifted off to sleep while his friends talked to the professor excitedly.

-----*-----

That night during the feast, after the Sorting, Professor Lupin crouched behind Harry and whispered, "Dumbledore wants me to speak to you. Come out into the hall, it should only take a moment."

"What?" Harry asked, standing up and giving his friends a confused look before following Lupin out of the Hall. Harry watched him walk ahead of him unsteadily, "Are you alright, professor?"

"Yes, don't worry about me." Lupin replied as they got into the entrance hall, "Dumbledore has given you a flat between Snape's office and Dumbledore's office. They want to keep an eye on you for a while, just to make sure everything is fine. It's just procedure, since Dr. Tohme wanted to keep you a bit longer and we insisted you were fine."

"Uh..okay." Harry said, scowling, "So, does Ron get a flat too?"

"No, of course not." Lupin answered, shaking his head, "It's right down the hall toward the dungeons. The picture guarding it is a cobra snake. We figured that since you could speak to it, it'll be perfect. The password is 'abscondo'."

"Alright." Harry sighed, disappointed that Ron couldn't be near him.

"You should get back to supper."

"Sir?" Harry asked softly, clearing his throat, "Have you heard from..you know..Sirius?"

"What?" Lupin furrowed his brow, "You..you didn't hear?"

Harry's pulse raced, "N-no."

"He got captured, Harry." Lupin put his head in his hands, shaking slightly, "He was going to the Burrow right after the Dursley's had died, and.."

"And Voldemort caught him?" Harry folded his arms, biting the inside of his mouth to stop from crying.

"From what we know so far, yes." Lupin sighed, "But he'll be okay."

Harry nodded slightly. The back of his mind was screaming, "_Tell him that you can hear him screaming!_" But he couldn't do it. That would cause alarm and then things would get crazy. He couldn't.

"Harry, we thought you would've heard about it."

"Why didn't anyone say anything?" Harry asked, his voice cracking, "He's my Godfather, and no one..no one told me he was captured?"

"We thought that if you in fact knew, you didn't want to talk about it. And if you didn't know, it'd be better if you weren't told. It was for your own good. We had the best interests." Lupin replied calmly.

"My own good?!" Harry spat angrily, "Yeah right! I don't even know what's for _my own_ good! My life was never this bad with the Dursleys! I haven't slept in months, and now I can't eat without wanting to throw everything up! I'm sick of all this, " He waved his arms around frantically, "And quite frankly, I wish I died with Uncle Vernon."

Professor Lupin stood, stunned, as Harry took off in a run toward his flat, never looking back.

---------------------

I spent *counts* 3 hours on this chapter, not to mention I wrote it out before hand. The least you guys could *possibly* do is leave me a nice lil note saying "Whoa, you suck at writing". Thanks!

**Next Chapter:** Monday, *or* if I get *lots* and *lots* of reviews!

PS - I've typed up to chapter 8 so far. The more notes I get, the faster the chapters will come out (what, once a week is too long?) 


	5. //Black hole sun, won't you come?\\

Harry woke up in a sweat and tears, breathing heavily. In his nightmare, his father had been Voldemort's rat, and was really alive, torturing Sirius. Right now, the nightmare was quite believable. He let out an angry scream and punched his pillows before standing up to take a shower.

  
  


Harry walked into the Great Hall later that morning and dropped into his respectful spot, watching as it slowly filled. Professor Lupin knelt next to him again.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." He said quietly, and Harry shrugged, "Please don't be mad at me or anyone else. We honestly thought it was for the best. I guess we didn't realize how grown up you are now, since the end of last year."

"Okay, " Harry paused, "My dad..wasn't involved with Voldemort, right?"

"Of course not!" Lupin gasped, staring at Harry like he had grown a third head, "Where did you get such an idea?"

"The nightmare I had last night, " Harry hesitated, trying to decide whether he should say anything more or not, and decided he should, "My father was in it, and he was alive, and was Voldemort's rat. He was torturing Sirius."

"Oh, I see." Lupin sighed, shaking his head, looking genuinly shocked, "No, your father never was involved with it. I'm sure of it. I'll tell you right now, I never really trusted Peter as much as everyone else - he seemed kind of neutral. But your father was nothing like him - he would've never joined You-Know-Who."

"Alright, " Harry smiled, "Thanks. That makes me feel better."

"Good." Lupin smiled back and stood up straight, "Good day to you, Mr. Potter."

"Good day to you, " Harry tilted his head, "Moony."

Lupin smiled down at him, shaking his head again before walking away. Ron and Hermione spotted him from the entrance hall and ran in.

"There you are!" Hermione hissed, sitting down beside Harry, "Where _were_ you? We were so worried! Lupin told Dumbledore you ran off, and we all thought.."

"I got my own flat near Snape's office." Harry frowned, scowling, "They don't want me to keep everyone up with my nightmares, I suppose. It'll only be until my nightmares go away. I think they might be, too. I thought the doctors said they'd go away after my last stay," Harry frowned more, narrowing his eyes in thought, "My nightmare last night wasn't nearly as intense as the ones I've had before."

"That's really good!" Ron said happily as everyone's plates started to fill with the usual foods, "I'm glad you aren't being miserable much anymore."

The owl post came and dropped their schedules, along with mail, on the table. Hedwig chirped, nipping at Harry's ear. Harry petted her before picking up his schedule.

"Double Potions first, Magical Creatures, lunch, Transfiguration, Herbology and..History." Harry read, and Ron frowned.

"I don't have Herbology with you." Ron said quietly, and Hermione nodded in agreement, "I've got Muggle Studies."

"I've got Arithmacy, then Herbology, and History tomorrow." Hermione told the two with a scowl.

"I've got History first, and Herbology second, then Transfiguration then Muggle Studies, then Potions." Ron said, "This is screwed up! Come on, Hermione, we've got to get this sorted out. We're supposed to be with Harry and everyone else."

Around the room as people compared their schedules, they cried out in anger, confused. Dumbledore rose from his chair and called for silence.

"We've decided that mixing everyone's schedules like this because we'd like you to get to know other people in other Houses, " Dumbledore announced, and everyone moaned in protest, "If this doesn't work out, we'll go back to our old scheduling. Assigned seating will be _required_, and unless there are problems between the students, you won't be moved."

"Great, " Harry mumbled to Ron, "With my luck, I'll get stuck next to Malfoy."

-----*-----

"Goyle, " Snape pointed to the empty seat in the back of the room before looking down at his seating chart, scowling at it. He placed Padme, Parvatti's twin Ravenclaw sister, beside Goyle, before moving on. He continued this as Harry watched, anxiety building up inside of him. He just _knew_ -

"Potter, right here, " Snape shook Harry from his thoughts before Snape slid in front of the empty space beside Harry's spot, "Malfoy."

Draco didn't make any comment. Instead, he sat down quietly, taking out parchment and his quill and ink. Harry sat down, wondering why Draco hadn't made any snide remark. Snape didn't seem to notice before he placed a Hufflepuff beside Malfoy.

"Now, I know you don't appreciate what we're trying to do with this whole arrangement, " Snape said in his usual sneer, "but too bad."

"Sir?" Padme's hand shot up, and Snape's eye twitched slightly, "Do you think you could move me from Goyle? He smells."

Harry glanced at Draco for any kind of reaction. Draco just remained sitting in his chair, his shoulders slumped as he stared down at the table.

"You haven't even been there for five minutes." Snape snapped, "Get used to it, because you aren't going to move for the rest of the year. Now, I hope you all went to the Apothecary over your vacation to get your ingredients. Otherwise, you won't be doing very well in this class."

Harry realized the only thing he had gotten for school, other than the new robes, ink, quills and parchment, were his books. Snape, being one step ahead of everyone else, walked over to his closet and opened it, pulling a cauldron off the shelf.

"Mr. Potter, " Snape sat it on the table in front of Harry, "You will owe me for this."

"Thank you, sir." Harry blinked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Had Snape done something _nice_?

People around the classroom whispered to the people beside them, asking about what had just happened. Snape took no notice in this as he walked back up to the board. The only person in the class who wasn't showing much curiosity was Draco, who was still staring hard at the table.

"Today, I'm giving you your notes on a quite difficult potion. Usually, I won't give you your notes, " Snape hesitated, his eyes lingering on Malfoy, "but I'm feeling generous today."

"Sir?" Padme's hand shot up again, and Harry groaned, dropping his head onto his folded arms. Snape hid his smirk from Harry's reaction, raising an eyebrow at Padme, "Are you feeling alright, sir? You haven't taken any points yet, and, well, you're being almost _nice_!"

"Ten points from Ravenclaw." Snape hissed, and the few Ravenclaws in the class sighed loudly, "Now, this potion is a truth potion. This is to be used strictly as educational purposes. If I hear that any of you, " His eyes fell on Harry momentarily, then Draco, then finally landed on Seamus Finnigan, "have used this for your own use, you will have detention with McGonagall for two weeks, myself for three, and Filch for another two months. Is that clear?"

Everyone mumbled 'yes' before Snape nodded and began listing the ingredients. Harry wrote them down quickly, noting that Draco remained sitting in his daze, not moving. Snape said nothing about it, which sort of ticked Harry off. If Harry was sitting like that, Snape would most likely take points away and give detention.

"Good. Now, I know you may think this is a lot like Veritaserum, but I can assure you, it isn't. Veritaserum is an extremely strong potion that is almost illegal, and I myself have never made it." Snape eyed Harry, as if to say 'tell anyone and you will be dead', "Start."

Once everyone started their potions, Snape pulled Harry to a corner of the room. "Mr. Malfoy's going through quite a hard time right now. I'd appreciate it if you wrote down your notes so he could copy them once he's better again. For the time, your potion grade will be his grade too."

"Is that fair?" Harry asked, frowning.

"Mr. Potter, " Snape said, his voice low, "I know he's been nothing but a git to you, but now is not the time to be asking about what's fair and what isn't. You've had your share of unfairness; I think a shared grade is pitiful compared to everything else."

"Alright." Harry sighed, and Snape nodded and sent him back to make his potion. Draco was still sitting, but his back was straight and he looked ahead of himself, as if confused, "Hey, Malfoy, are you going to help with the potion?"

Draco looked up at him, his eyes filled with tears. Harry blinked a few times, awed. Was Draco really about to cry?

"What do you need me to do?" Draco asked, his voice soft, and he tried hard not to let his voice crack.

"I just need you to cut these up in really tiny pieces." Harry answered, pushing some lizard's tails in front of Draco, handing him a small knife. For a moment, Draco stared down at the knife, looking like he was contemplating something, before he went about cutting the tails.

The class went on in silence for the two, but not for the other groups. Padme kept yelling at Goyle and smacking him across the arm, telling him everything he was doing wrong. Snape watched them, beside himself in amusement, and continuously took points from Ravenclaw. Seamus, who was placed with Blaise Zabini, kept dropping bits of Horklump in her hair. Gryffindor had 5 points taken everytime Blaise screamed and slapped Seamus across the face. Everyone in the class seemed to hate each other, constantly complaining about their partners, except for Harry and Draco.

Snape wasn't all too surprised about it, either. He knew Draco wasn't talking much, and he knew Harry's..well, feelings toward Draco at the moment, whether it be a crush, love, or desire, he had it. Snape smirked to himself as he watched Draco silently chop up the lizard, accidentally brushing against Harry's arm as he put it into the potion.

_Yes, Mr. Potter, _Snape thought, crossing his arms and observing others in the room, _Any day now, I believe you will make your first _official_ move. You better, boy, or I lose to Dumbledore._

-----------------------

Man, I got like, a lot of notes. Thanks soooo much! Like I said, the more notes, the quicker the chapters come out! THANKS AGAIN!

And Adam - I took 'Home' down, since I didn't like it and I could use the plot for something else. A couple months ago I took 'Sorrow' down too, since it wasn't really going anywhere.

Lmao, thanks to Hippy Flower for that long review. It was very nice of you. And thanks to: 

Avidia [seriously man, I DO suck at writing!], Toby [you got more!], Midnight Dragon [yes, Remus was helping, I feel sorry for him too!], dblah [uhh, nice name ;) but thanks for the note], Creamy Mimi [sorry it's confusing. I tend to do that with the beginning of my stories], Sparks [thanks for saying I don't suck, but I do], Prophetess of Hearts [there, I continued it!!], Skyelight2x1 [man, I loved your note!]

AND TO EVERYONE ELSE! THANK YOU! And if you read this and don't review [cough cough CRYSTAL TURNER cough cough], I'll update very soon.


	6. //All I am is the invisible man\\

Another nightmare. Different in some way, like all the others, but had the same basic meaning: Voldemort was torturing Sirius. This time, Harry could hear voices. Not like the ones in his dreams when he slept, but _outside_. Kind of like when you're sleeping, and then you say something in your dream and you just *know* you spoke in your sleep, and you feel stupid for talking in your sleep. This was that kind of thing. He knew the voice wasn't from his nightmare, and he was telling himself to wake up.

"Come, my boy, you must want help." The voice spoke to Harry, drifting to him. It wasn't coming from inside the room, but more like beyond the walls. And it also wasn't physically _coming_, it was in his head. But he was fully awake, trying to fight off the voice, "do not fight me, my boy! I am here to help you! Come to the book case, and pull the third book from the right on the seventh shelf."

He unwillingly walked to the shelf, mentally trying to fight off the curse. It was forcing his moves, making him walk and follow the instructions. The book was a lighter colour than the others, and it was a soft pink. He pulled it, and sure enough, the book case opened. A corridor was revealed, and toward the end lied a light.

"The light contains no evil presence." The voice said softly, "do not resist the temptation and wonder."

Harry's legs moved into the corridor, toward the light. Slowly, the curse was being lifted from him, but no he was curious. Who was at the end of the tunnel? It couldn't be Voldemort, because he would've had to find a way in. On the other hand, it could be Wormtail or..

"Sirius?" Harry called, his pulse quickening in hope.

"No, " The voice hesitated, "sorry."

The little hope was crushed, but his curiousity was at a peak. He entered the room, and he discovered it was a flat. Nothing like the one that was his own. It was completely different. In Harry's flat, green and silver curtains hung over a huge window overlooking the lake. On the wall opposite of the window was the portrait hole. On the right of that, was a fire place that looked like it hadn't been used in years. Beside the fireplace was the bookshelf he had just come through. Opposite of the fireplace was a large four - poster bed, with a silver comforter, tinted with green (Harry suspected it was a type of fake velvet, to make it look more attractive). Beside the bed was a door leading into the bathroom, that looked a lot like the Prefect bathroom. He had a nagging feeling it had been Salazar Slytherin's flat long ago.

This flat, however, was much more smaller. Instead of a window, there was only a smaller fire place, which was being used at this moment. A chair, rather uncomfortable looking, was placed beside it. A portrait hole was on the right of the hidden corridor, and opposite was a small bed with a door leading into the bathroom. Beside the chair, a tall man stood, his hands behind his back, smiling.

"Do forgive me, Mr. Potter, " The man extended his hand, "I am Reilly Kristoph. In no way am I involved with You-Know-Who, " Kristoph lifted both sleeves of his robes, revealing untouched arms, "I did, however, use some Dark Magic to get you in here. I'm terribly sorry. Now, on to business."

Harry shook his hand rigidly. This man was quite a character. He reminded Harry a lot like Lupin, because of the way his robes hung off his body, and there were holes near the bottom.

"I know this must seem very unnerving, meeting someone in a secret room near the dungeons in the middle of the night. I can assure you, I mean no harm. I grew up with your father, Sirius and Remus, " Kristoph paused, "I never was too fond of Peter, though. Anyway, I was in Hufflepuff, so I never really got to know your father or mother. I'm sorry about that, too. I felt so bad after.." Kristoph shook his head and eyed Harry, "However, I know you've been having nightmares. I'd like to tell you a little about me.

"I'm an apprentice for Professor Trelawny. Growing up here at school, I think that was my favorite class. I can See, and I believe Trelawny thinks I'm worthy enough to become a Seer. That has nothing to do with you, of course, " Kristoph smiled warmly, the firelight flickering off his face, "but one day over the summer, I was looking through my crystal ball, and I saw you at the Weasley's house. I noted that you had a horrible time sleeping due to nightmares. I also saw, and heard from Professor Dumbledore, that you were admitted into St. Mungos twice for help. Obviously, tonight, you had another nightmare.

"So, I'm willing to help you. I know it might seem kind of pointless to try and help someone I don't know, but without _you_, there wouldn't be me, or anyone else at this school or in the Wizarding, possibly muggle, world. It also might seem stupid to try and help you, because you've been given many types of potions, counter curses and everything else of the matter. For now, I'd appreciate your cooperation, for I am not completely sure of what you may have."

"What do you think I have?" Harry asked, and watched as Kristoph threw something into the fire, a piece of parchment.

"All you need to do is tell me your nightmares in as much detail as you can every time you have one." Kristoph continued, ignoring Harry's question, "then, we'll take it from there."

"So..so Dumbledore knows about you?" Harry questioned, his fists clenching and unclenching nervously.

"Of course. If you don't believe me, you may ask him yourself." Kristoph answered with a wave of his hand, "now, would you like to tell me your nightmare right this moment?"

Harry merely shrugged, "All I remember from it was watching as Voldemort tortured Sirius. Nothing else."

Kristoph nodded and bent over a small table beside the chair, picking up a quill and dipping it in the ink before writing on a piece of parchment. He looked up at Harry and said, "I'm going to keep a chart of your nightmares as a kind of reference. Everytime you have a nightmare, I'll write it down in detail and keep it to look over as notes when the time comes."

"Oh." Was Harry's only responce. Kristoph sighed and sat the quill down.

"I understand this is a very awkward situation. How about you go back to your flat and try and sleep, then speak to Dumbledore about it in the morning. He gave me permission to do this, hoping it would come through." Kristoph said, and Harry nodded, "goodnight."

"Good night." Harry said numbly, turning around and walking back through the corridor to his own flat. He fell onto his bed, his mind racing with questions.

Quickly, he fell asleep.

-----*-----

Harry found himself fighting to stay awake during Transfiguration the next morning. A few times his head would drop, but he'd straighten up immediately. Professor McGonagall didn't seem to notice. She probably thought he had another nightmare. After he had fallen asleep, he hadn't, but she didn't need to know that. He had waken up again, an hour later, his thoughts on Kristoph. Who _was_ he?

"Mr. Potter?"

Harry woke up, startled, immediately realizing he'd fallen asleep. McGonagall stood above him, studying him with a concerned look.

"See me after class, Mr. Potter." She said before continuing her lesson. Beside him, Draco was sitting, staring off into space.

_Man, are we alike or what?_ Harry mused, putting his head ontop of his arms and yawning.

After class, Harry hung around, waiting for McGonagall to speak. She shut the door and turned to him.

"No sleep again?" Harry nodded, "I assume you've met Kristoph?"

"Yes."

"Ah." She smiled, "A true wizarding genius, though I'm not fond of his choice of profession. Half of the spells and charms that are being tested these days are written by Kristoph. Kristoph approached Albus over the summer, wishing to try and help you. Now, I know you haven't heard about your trip to St. Mungos, and you should speak to both Dumbledore and Kristoph about that." She said quietly, and Harry nodded.

"Couldn't you just tell me, though?"

"I'm afraid it's not my position." McGonagall said firmly, "Now, get on to class before you get in trouble."

Harry opened the door to leave. Draco stood there, his eyes bloodshot and swollen. McGonagall frowned at him.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Um, " Draco mumbled, "I need to know if I need any make up work. Snape sent me, and..um, yeah, I'll be gone for a week."

"Okay." McGonagall said as Harry slipped out of the room, trying to think of why Draco was crying and going to be gone for a week. Then again, it wasn't his business.

But he was still going to find out.

------------------

If person A is immortal, and person B happens to be a cannibal and eats person A, is person A still alive?


	7. //They say that a hero can save us\\

Being on a broom always exhilerated Harry. Whether it was the fact that he was so high off the ground, and he was taking a risk, or just because he liked the feeling of the wind, he didn't know. Maybe a little of both. Today made him especially happy, though he didn't know why. He was playing the Ravenclaw team, and Gryffindor was ahead by sixty points. The score was 120 to 200. It was a brutal game, no doubt, but Gryffindor was obviously the superior team.

Below, in the stadium, everyone was cheering the game on. The Slytherin's sat, just watching, pretending to be amused. Draco, the captain of the Slytherin team, kept his eyes on Harry, never breaking contact. Harry smiled everytime their eyes locked, and Draco smiled back.

Sirius sat with Professor Lupin. Beside them was Ron and Hermione, waving Gryffindor colored flags, grinning. It was bliss for Harry, like a thousand weights had been lifted and he could finally be happy. No more worries.

"..and Harry Potter sees the snitch!"

Harry easily moved his broom through the Quidditch Pitch toward the opposite end he'd been sitting at. The Ravenclaw Seeker saw him and sped after him as the Gryffindor beaters tried to knock the opposing seeker from her broom.

Ten feet from the snitch, and it didn't seem to notice Harry coming. Harry could feel his pulse racing with adrenaline. Five feet, and the snitch still hadn't moved. He took both of his hands from the broom handle and expertly moved forward slightly to get good balance. Four feet, three, two, and..

Everything went black. Screams were heard, and Harry looked around frantically, moving his broom upward from the ground, high above the crowd. The darkness was almost suffocating. It had just been bright out, with no clouds in the sky. How could it turn this black in a matter of seconds? Harry's questioned ceased when he heard someone yelling.

"HARRY!" Sirius yelled above the screams and sounds of feet pounding, trying to leave the stadium.

Harry's broom started to jerk violently. Sudden flashes of green and orange light came from far above Harry and below him on the ground. More high pitched screams. He could just make out Sirius's painful screams, then Draco's. Panicked, Harry reached into his robe to get his wand, but it wasn't there. The darkness started to cease, and the outside turned a cold gray.

Severed bodies of the whole Ravenclaw team lay strewn over the pitch. Other students lied, dead, from either the Killing Curse or some kind of spell that the Ravenclaw team had received. Sirius was among the dead, his blank eyes staring up at Harry almost accusingly. Draco's body was twisted the wrong ways beside Sirius. Harry opened his mouth and screamed.

-----*-----

Every filed into the Potion's classroom, taking their seats. The only seats that were empty were Draco and Harry's, which was odd for Snape to see. He understood Draco would be gone, but Harry? Snape blinked and turned to Seamus.

"Mr. Finnigan, do you know where Mr. Potter is?" Snape asked with a sneer, covering his concern. It wasn't like Harry to not show up.

"No, sir, he wasn't at breakfast." Seamus replied, and Snape nodded his thanks, making a mental note to see Harry after class.

  
  


"Excuse me, Mr. Kristoph." Snape pushed past Kristoph in the portrait hole, going into Kristoph's flat.

"What are you doing?" Kristoph snapped, shutting the door.

Snape remained silent and opened the door leading into the corridor. The only reason Kristoph had a flat that connected to Harry's room was just that; no one else could speak Parseltongue to get into Harry's room, so they had to use the 'secret passageway'. Unfortunately, it was through Kristoph's room, and Snape didn't like it much, since Kristoph made him suspicious. Then again, who didn't make Snape suspicious?

"Excuse me, Professor, what are you doing?" Kristoph asked, standing in front of Snape to block him from moving into Harry's room.

"I am checking on my student, Kristoph. Step out of my way." Snape barked, and Kristoph moved, glaring at the man. Snape opened the door and shut it before Kristoph could come in, "Mr. Potter?"

Harry moaned from his bed and lifted up his head, blinking as sweat rolled into his eyes. He winced and rubbed them, pushing the hair out of his eyes. Snape stood next to the bookcase, looking at Harry, concerned.

"Are you alright, Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, taking a step forward. Harry's eyes widened.

"Oh my God, I missed classes." Harry struggled to sit up, his arms shaking from his body weight.

"No, no, Mr. Potter, it's okay." Snape said softly, taking another step. Harry continued to try and get out of bed, "Mr. Potter, stop. You'll make yourself more sick."

"I'm sorry professor." Harry continued, throwing his legs over the bed, "I overslept. I'm very sorry, sir, it won't happen again." He took a step, and his legs fell out from under him. Snape watched as Harry fell to the floor.

"Are you going to quit trying to get up, Mr. Potter?" Snape folded his arms, watching Harry try to stand up.

"No, sir! I have to get to class. I can't miss anything." Harry replied, putting his hands on the bed and trying with all his might to push himself off the ground.

Snape sighed and walked over, helping Harry stand up, then pushing him onto the bed, "Listen to me. You're obviously very ill right now. Just stay in bed until Madam Pomfrey can come see you."

"But _sir_!" Harry cried, "I can't miss any class! I'll fail and -"

"Fail?" Snape raised an eyebrow, "You haven't failed any classes before. I think you'll be all right."

Harry remained silent, his eyes glazing over. Snape watched, confused, as the tears welled up in Harry's eyes and started to spill over. He thought about asking what was wrong, until Harry threw himself into his professor's chest. Surprised, Snape sat back, but Harry's grasp was strong.

"I'm so sorry, professor!" Harry sobbed, tightening his arms around Snape's waist, crying into his chest.

"It's only the flu, Mr. Potter.." Snape trailed off, thoroughly confused now, but put his arms around Harry the best he could.

"I didn't mean to kill Sirius or Draco! Oh, God! Why would I kill them?" Harry's voice became muffled, and Snape strained to hear what he said, until he could clearly hear, "..I didn't have anything against the Ravenclaw team, either! I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry."

"What?" Snape asked, "You didn't kill Sirius or Draco. Of course not! Don't be ridiculous!"

"No, but I did." Came Harry's reply, "during the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor Quidditch game. Voldemort..he came and..and attacked the Ravenclaw team and..and _ripped their bodies apart_. He was trying to get to me, and..he didn't. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Snape's face paled, and he tried to lift Harry up, "Mr. Potter, what are you talking about? What do you mean You-Know-Who attacked the Ravenclaw team? We haven't had any games!"

But instead of an answer, Harry's body went limp, his tears almost immediately stopping, and his breathing evening out slightly. Snape lifted him up, walked to the portrait hole, and left the flat, almost running to the Hospital Wing.

--------------------

Thanks to everyone who gave me ideas for this chapter. I really appreciate it. I like it. I dunno about you guys, but..yeah..

I promise, if I get a LOT of notes, I'll post chapter 8 immediately.

**Also:** If you want me to email you whenever I update, I definitely will. Just give me your email or AIM/AOL screen name - my AIM s/n is Pathetic Invader, and my email is Liz@Patheticmutt.com.

I have Ff.net messenger, if you all want to try that too.. 


	8. //I don't want no pigeon\\

Remus Lupin sat in a chair that was leaning up against the wall, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He sighed loudly, rubbing his temples. Footsteps approached and he lifted his head, rubbing his eyes at the same time.

"He's okay." Madam Pomfrey said quietly, "though his hallucinations earlier were quite frightening. Professor Snape is in there with Dumbledore right now, speaking to him. If you want, you can go in.."

"What were his hallucinations?" Lupin asked, standing up from the chair and stretching his arms, relieved that Harry was okay. He had passed out from being so ill earlier, and frightened a handful of people, Lupin and Snape being two.

Madam Pomfrey shuddered slightly, "He says something about Sirius Black dying. I really don't know. It was very disturbing trying to listen to him talk about murders so..gruesome. Like I said, you can go and see him if you want. Dumbledore will tell you later, if you wish."

"Thanks, Poppy, you're a life saver." Lupin patted her shoulder lovingly before going into the room Harry was in.

Harry was lying in a bed, almost as white as the sheets, his hair clinging to his face. Sweat trickled down his cheek, then down his neck, reaching the top of his shirt. Snape was standing behind Dumbledore, who was seated in a chair next to Harry's bed. Dumbledore looked up and smiled at Lupin.

"Good afternoon, Professor."

"Good afternoon, sir." Lupin nodded at the man, then looked down at Harry, but quickly looked away, "All is good, I hope?"

"All is fine." Dumbledore smiled, "Harry gave us something to think about, though, with You-Know-What."

"What?" Harry asked groggily, and Dumbledore shook his head.

"Not right now." Dumbledore replied, "for now, I want you to just sleep. By tomorrow morning, you can get back to classes."

Harry, too tired to argue, nodded slightly and closed his eyes, drifting off immediately. Dumbledore watched him a moment before standing up.

"I've got more to add to my bet, Severus, " He said, and paused, looking at Lupin, "and Remus, I must speak to you about what has been going on. Come to my office, and we shall discuss this more."

Snape glanced at Harry one last time before nodding and heading out of the room with Lupin, toward Dumbledore's office.

-----*-----

The next morning, Harry felt well enough to leave the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey didn't notice as he left, or maybe she felt he was well enough to leave. Either way, she didn't move from her spot in her office, reading the Daily Prophet, shaking her head and sighing, mumbling to herself. He entered the Great Hall, walking toward his table to eat with his friends. He didn't notice Snape jump from his chair, surprised at seeing Harry up and looking better. Dumbledore patted the man's arm and told him to sit down before he hurt himself.

"Man, Harry, " Ron said immediately, "It's gone around _everywhere_ that -"

Hermione elbowed him hard in the ribs before handing Harry the latest copy of the Daily Prophet, "You've got to read that, Harry! It's so sad!"

Confused, Harry looked down at the folded newspaper.

_Lucius Malfoy, part of one of the oldest Wizarding families, will be laid to rest this morning. The cause of death has been released to the public, after the unexpected death in St. Mungos._

The Ministry's report says that Lucius had been standing in his office at the manor, when an unexpected artifact he had taken home from work exploded in his hands. He was rushed to St. Mungos, where Doctor Tohme announced Mr. Malfoy would be fine and recover quickly.

Draco Malfoy [16], the son of Lucius and Narcissa, attends school at Hogwarts, and is in his sixth year.

Harry put the paper down and sighed, "No wonder he's been so sad lately."

"Yeah." Hermione nodded, "It's very ironic. His father died in his own home, kind of like, well, your parents, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I know." Harry frowned, "I feel kind of bad for him. I didn't know my parents. He knew his father."

Ron scoffed, "I can't believe you feel bad for that git! He deserved it! After he's made fun of us for years!"

"But Ron, you've never lost anyone in your family." Hermione pointed out, "You don't know what it's like."

Harry studied the newspaper before speaking, "It says that Narcissa and Draco are splitting what Lucius left behind. I wonder what that means."

"Honestly, who _cares_?" Ron asked, exasperated, "So what, his dad died. Big deal."

Hermione elbowed him again, telling him to shut up. Ron rubbed his ribs but nodded while Harry continued to read the newspaper. Hedwig flew in with a dead rat hanging out of her mouth, dropping Harry's letters on the table and flew off. Harry looked down at the small pile.

"Who would write to you?" Ron asked, and Harry gave him a glare, "I didn't mean it like that. Just, you know!"

Harry ignored him and picked up the first letter from Hagrid, telling him to come by to visit Hagrid later on after classes. The second one was from Ginny, saying something about hoping he'd get better. The third one didn't have a name on the front. Harry opened it, and in shaky handwriting it said,

"_Help me, Harry. Oh, God, please help me. They've got me, and_."

Confused, Harry looked over it, then gasped.

"Guys, this is from Sirius." Harry said, his voice low.

-----*-----

No words were said between Snape and Harry after the days prior, when Harry had cried in his arms. Harry remembered it clearly, but said nothing. Snape said nothing either, probably for fear that someone else would over hear. But it seemed that every time Harry was near him, the man would watch him carefully, a slight look of concern in his eyes.

Lupin had choked on tears when Harry showed him the letter from Sirius. He said that it was Sirius's writing because of the simple way Sirius wrote his h's. It sounded weird, but Harry believed it. 

Dumbledore had looked over it himself before telling Harry that if he was alive, then there was a great deal of hope. What confused both Harry and Dumbledore was how Sirius got a hold of parchment, a quill, ink _and_ Hedwig. You can't just sit in some room, beaten and sore, and an owl that belongs to your family flies in. That's close to impossible.

Harry refused to sleep now. It had been days since he received the letter, and he was afraid that if he slept, he'd have a nightmare involving Sirius. Well, technically, most of his nightmares involved Sirius, but now that Harry knew for sure that he was alive and in major trouble, his nightmares would be more terrifying. Kristoph was keeping the Dream Journal daily, writing about Harry's sleeping habits. Eating habits were getting involved, now, too. He refused to show Harry the journal, which upset Harry greatly, considering he trusted the guy.

And still, no one would tell Harry what exactly was wrong with him.

Draco was coming back the next day, and Harry was determined to let Draco know that he was there for him, all the while trying to aggravate Snape into telling him what was wrong. Harry smiled as Professor McGonagall droned on. Hopefully, everything will click into place when Draco returned.

----------------------

I love the movie Shrek. I think it's my favorite one. Other than 'Harry Potter' and 'O Brother, Where Art Thou'.

And thanks to EVERYONE who gave me notes (wow, i got like, 13! it made my day so great!). I'll post more if I get more notes ;) ;) (*cough cough* i've got up to chapter 14 written *cough cough*) 


	9. //What if I don't want to hear the thing...

Harry dropped into his seat next to Draco a few days later, determined to speak to Draco. But it was Draco who spoke first.

"Look, I know I haven't been nice to you, " Draco said quickly, his eyes refusing to meet Harry's, "and I'm sorry. You don't have to believe me, but I really am."

"Um.." Harry blinked, "Okay."

"And I bet you're thinking I'm being stupid. It's okay, think whatever you want." Draco's voice softened and started to crack as tears stung his eyes, "but I really am sorry."

"I understand."

Draco's shoulders dropped, and he nodded. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "can you meet me somewhere tonight? The staircase that leads to the West Tower? I need to talk to you, I think."

Usually, Harry wouldn't trust him. But lately, the circumstances were different. Harry nodded, and Draco gave him a small, forced smile.

Lupin entered the classroom and dropped his briefcase on the counter, smiling at everyone. Harry dropped his head onto the desk, tired, when he heard his name.

"Harry, could you please go to Dumbledore's office?" Lupin asked, "and tell him I'll be there shortly, as soon as I get everyone else started on their assignment."

Confused, Harry rose from his chair.

"Oh, and Harry?" Lupin handed Harry a piece of chocolate, "you look like you need it."

Harry ignored the eyes that followed him out of the room before eating the chocolate in the corridor. He vaguely wondered what Dumbledore wanted, then his mind drifted to Draco and the way his voice cracked when he was talking. Pity crept into Harry's body, and he sighed sadly. Draco was going through a lot, even if Ron didn't like to admit it.

After 10 minutes waiting in Dumbledore's office, Lupin showed up, slightly out of breath from running half the way. He sat down next to Harry, and Dumbledore was sitting on the other side of his desk. Reilly Kristoph was standing off to the side, and Snape was standing on the other side.

"Harry, Mr. Kristoph here has come up with an interesting thought. But first, do you know what the doctors at St. Mungo's diagnosed you with?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes showing no sparkle. Harry shook his head slightly, "they think you have inherited something from your father. Professor Lupin, James had problems, I believe, with nightmares?"

"Occasionally, yes, " Lupin paused, "they weren't really _nightmares_. More like, visions. We believed he was some sort of Seer."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"He saw things in his nightmares once in a while. I think in all the time I knew him, from when he was five until we graduated, he only had about seven or eight 'visions'." Lupin said nervously, folding his hands, "most of the time, sir, he was inaccurate. He was only accurate once, but we didn't take it seriously because he was going through a really bad time."

"Professor Lupin, " Snape snapped, "you withheld this type of information from everyone?"

Lupin bit his lip, nodding slightly, "but sir, you knew how we were. We didn't take those kinds of things seriously. We felt like they were only nightmares, as Harry probably does, and -"

"Professor, " Dumbledore held up his hand to stop him, "now that we have this new information, Reilly, do you think Harry still holds..?"

"Absolutely." Kristoph replied, clearing his throat, "thought now he might actually be a Seer. Remus, what was the accurate vision James saw?"

Lupin shifted in his chair, his eyes locked on the floor while everyone stared at him curiously.

"He saw his death."

"What?" Harry blinked, sucking in a breath.

"He was going through a short depression. You know how he was!" Lupin looked up quickly at everyone, "but this time we were getting really worried about him because he seemed, well, er, " Lupin glanced at Harry quickly, "a bit suicidal. He woke Sirius and I up one morning and said he saw his death in a nightmare. We shrugged it off, " Lupin put his head in his hands, "but in his nightmare, he died exactly how he really died."

"Coincidence!" Snape scoffed, and Lupin sighed.

"I suppose."

Dumbledore cleared his throat, "That _does_ make me wonder a bit. I believe we should get some of Lily's friends here to inform us on things we might've never known. For the time, though, we'll assume James only had the hereditary nightmares."

Everyone nodded quietly.

"Now, Reilly, explain to everyone here what you've been doing lately." Dumbledore said calmly, smiling at Harry reassuringly.

Kristoph held up a small booklet, "this is Harry's Dream Journal. I've recorded everything he has told me and made notes, and I've decided that Morrigan is part of it."

"Impossible!" Snape's eyes grew wide, "Morrigan hasn't been around for hundreds of years!"

"She hasn't been _recorded_ in hundreds of years." Kristoph replied, flipping through the pages, "usually these days, people don't realize the symptoms of something so ancient, such as Morrigan. She rarely shows her true, what's the word.." He trailed off, thinking, "_thoughts_."

Confused, Harry opened his mouth to speak.

"Allow me to explain." Kristoph cleared his throat and started to pace, "Usually, Morrigan, who is kind of a demon, will find one of the most emotionally disturbed people, or people who are in mortal danger, such as yourself. She digs into your thoughts, finds the biggest fear, and tortures you through nightmares. Ridding yourself of her is simple, " Kristoph hesitated, "it's recovering that can be the hardest.

"During my short time with you, Harry, I've come to find the single thing you fear the most. You're afraid for Sirius."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" Snape sneered, walking up to Kristoph, "Honestly, Morrigan? What have you been doing since school ended?"

"I've been researching ancient curses and spells, Severus. If you strongly believe that Morrigan is not part of this, then tell me why none of your potions or anything from St. Mungos is helping." Kristoph raised an eyebrow, and was met with silence, "it won't harm Harry if we tried to find out if she's really controlling him like that. The worst that could happen is that he loses his appetite for a few days, but we can fix that."

Snape stared hard at Kristoph for a moment before turning to Dumbledore, "Surely you won't put Potter in such a position?!"

"Harry can decide for himself. He's old enough." Lupin said quietly, and Snape threw his hands up.

"Do none of you _care_ about the dangers he could be in if you go through with this?" Snape asked, glaring from Kristoph to Lupin and back.

"Why do you suddenly care, Severus?" Lupin asked, narrowing his eyes, "I believe what Reilly is saying. No harm can come to Harry if we at least try it. If we don't try, we'll never know what's wrong."

Snape turned to Dumbledore expectantly. "You give us the verdict, Albus. You know what my thoughts are."

"Yes, well, " Dumbledore grinned, "I do like Lemon Drops, Severus. I believe Harry can decide for himself."

All eyes turned on Harry, and he squirmed uncomfortably. He bit his lip, not knowing what to say. He had never heard of Morrigan, and he would rather do research on her before he made a decision.

"Could I possibly, er, look through the library for books on Morrigan before I make a decision?" Harry asked, his voice shaking nervously. Dumbledore smiled and wrote on a piece of paper, then handed it to Harry.

"A very wise decision." Dumbledore said, his eyes sparkling slightly, "you will make a fine ally, if you make decisions like that, Harry."

Snape nodded, "that is a quite wise decision."

"I agree." Lupin added, and Kristoph nodded slightly in agreement, biting back his anger. Didn't this boy trust him?

Harry picked up the paper and studied it. It was permission to go into the Restricted Section.

"We must get back to class, sirs." Lupin stood up and nodded at Snape, Dumbledore and Kristoph, who all nodded back. Snape checked his watch and mumbled something about getting back to his disruptive second years and hurried before Lupin left.

Harry followed Lupin out of the office quietly. They walked in an awkward silence for a while.

"Your father wasn't crazy Harry."

"I know." Harry scowled, wondering where that came from.

"I just want you to know that." Lupin said quietly, "I know it's probably hard for you to comprehend what's going on, because I'm so confused right now too. All I can hope is that things get a bit easier from here. Hopefully your nightmares will get calmer."

Harry didn't mention anything to Lupin about his meeting with Draco later that night. No one needed to know just yet. He himself didn't know what to expect. It was scaring him, because he had, well, _feelings_ for Draco. Not the usually hate or friendship feelings, but the ones that guys aren't supposed to have toward other guys. He was afraid that Draco might feel the same.

----------------------

Is this long enough, or do I need to make my chapters longer?

Is it good or bad if my waist is 18 inches?


	10. //I'm not the kind of person you think I...

The Sorting Hat whispered in Harry's ear.

"You'd do so well in Slytherin.."

Harry closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't get placed in Slytherin. The hat contemplated it's dilema. Gryffindor or Slytherin? Slytherin or Gryffindor?

"I could always put you in Ravenclaw for the hell of it." The hat mumbled, and Harry's eyes widened.

"_Ravenclaw_?" Harry bit his lip, having no idea what to expect.

"SLYTHERIN!"

The Hall was dead silent. The professors sat, stunned. Especially Snape, who had a sneer on his face, ready to kill the Sorting Hat. Potter, in Slytherin? The Gryffindor House merely shrugged. Ron turned to his new House mates while Hermione talked animatedly to someone beside her.

Harry got off the stool in a sort of daze. The Slytherin table looked uneasy about Harry Potter being in their House. Afterall, it was _his_ fault Voldemort wasn't around anymore. And the Slytherin's were quite fond of Voldemort. Draco Malfoy stood up to greet his new House mate.

"Sorry about the train, Potter." Draco said, shaking Harry's hand, "this is Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Blaise Zabini.."

Blaise merely nodded at Harry, turning her attention back to someone else.

"Hi." Harry swallowed thickly, sitting down with his new House, looking around. He caught Professor Quirrell's eye, and the professor smiled at him proudly. Harry shuddered inwardly. He was a Slytherin.

*

Harry's second year as a Slytherin. He had spent half of his summer at Malfoy Manor, helping Draco and Lucius concoct potions and perfect their Unforgivables. The Dursley's didn't mind. They were quite fond of Lucius Malfoy, though he scared the family at times.

"Hey, Mudblood." Harry grinned at Hermione Granger as he passed her in the corridor toward their first class.

Draco Malfoy smirked at Granger, and she just ignored the two. Draco turned to Harry, "I'm proud of you, Potter. I didn't expect you to adapt to the Slytherin ways."

"Why wouldn't I?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes, "do you think I'm incapable of something so simple?"

"At first, yes." Draco shrugged, "Snape's got both of us new four-posters." He changed the subject.

"Good. The one I had last year was horirbly stiff." Harry said as they neared the dungeons for Snape's class, "you reckon we have class with Gryffindor's this year again?"

Draco grinned maliciously but said nothing.

*

Third year was as boring as second and first. No new scandals. No Voldemort. Of course, Harry and Draco were best friends, but their feelings were only _friendship_.

Sirius Black did escape Azkaban. And he did continue to say, "He's at Hogwarts" continuously in his sleep. But instead of attacking Scabbers, he attacked Harry.

"YOU'RE AN INSULT TO YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER!" Sirius Black screamed, the knife in his hand coming down into the mattress, tearing the sheets and comforter.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes, jumping out of bed.

"Sirius Black, " Sirius growled, "your Godfather. I'm here to murder you."

"Why? I never did shit to you!" Harry hissed, and Draco started to stir in his sleep.

"You've put your mother and father to shame, " Sirius waved the knife around the room, "for God's sake! A _Slytherin_! Being your Godfather is an insult!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." Harry mocked, "here, let me go trade in my robes to go into Gryffindor and befriend Mudblood and Weasel."

Sirius screamed in rage and plunged the knife deep into Harry's chest repeatedly.

"Your parents would hate you!" Sirius screamed before blood dripped from Harry's mouth and he fell over, dead.

-----*-----

Harry screamed and bolted upright, and immediately sobbed into his hands, shaking violently. He tried to regain control, but the sobs came quicker. He fell forward so his elbows were on the bed, and his head in his hands, tears falling quickly as he continued to sob.

"Get a grip, Potter." Harry whispered to himself, checking the bedside table for the time. He had to meet Draco at the staircase any minute. He took a shuddering breath, forcing himself to stop crying. Afterall, it was only a nightmare.

He got out of bed to clean off his face and grabbed his Invisibility Cloak on his way to the staircase.

  
  


Harry dropped the cloak to the ground and saw Draco standing by the steps. He had a single tear on his face, and he jumped when he heard Harry. He spun around and wiped his face, but relaxed when he saw who it was.

"Malfoy..?" Harry trailed off, noticing the tears that rimmed Draco's eyes.

"Potter, could you just.." Draco hesitated, taking a few steps to Harry, "hold me?"

The question could be either innocent or not. Harry was taken aback by the question, but opened his arms and hugged Draco, his enemy, as Draco started to cry onto his shoulder.

"Er, Malfoy..it's uh, it's okay." Harry said, not knowing how to comfort someone, much less Malfoy. Harry's parents had died, but he didn't know them.

"No, it isn't." Draco's voice was a high sort of pitch, and it crackled with ever sobs, "it isn't okay."

"Why isn't it?" Harry asked softly, his arms tightening more around Draco's waist unknowingly.

"Because.." Draco trailed off, "I miss father."

The comment sounded odd to Harry. He never thought Draco would say such a thing.

"I'm sure you do, Malfoy, but -"

"Harry, " Draco's voice cracked more, and he broke down into more sobs, sliding down to the ground on his knees, his head in his hands. Harry slid down too, pulling Draco to his chest in a hug, "V-Voldemort attacked him."

Harry tensed up, "you shouldn't tell me this stuff, Malfoy."

"Father was in his study the day before the Hogwarts Express was to leave, " Draco said, ignoring Harry's comment, "Voldemort came through the Floo Network. I was standing outside the door, " Draco's throat tightened and he dissolved into more sobs. Harry's chest tightened, but hugged Draco for comfort, "Father said something and Voldemort got so mad..so pissed off. I saw this flash of a hundred colors, and Father yelled in pain. He..he was supposed to be okay."

"Malfoy, you shouldn't tell me this. It isn't my business." Harry whispered, and Draco's sobs immediately ceased, and he looked up at Harry with bloodshot eyes.

"I have no one else to tell. It's been eating me up since it happened. I can't tell anyone else but you. You understand because you've seen Voldemort kill people with your own eyes!" Draco's voice was hoarse, and he licked his lips.

"Malfoy -"

"Harry, " Draco hissed, "please! Stop it. You're the only person I trust. Please."

Draco burried his head in Harry's chest again as he silently cried, his shoulders shaking in quiet sobs. Harry bit his lip, completely lost. He had no idea what to do.

"Okay, Malfoy, I'll keep your secret." Harry sighed, and Draco pulled back.

"You swear?" Draco asked suspicously.

"I swear on my mum and dad's graves." Harry replied sullenly, and Draco gave him a half hearted smile.

"You're a good person, Potty." He said, wiping his face with his sleeves before standing up, "I owe you."

Harry nodded before Draco eyed the Invisibility Cloak, then left the staircase. Harry bit his lip, thinking about his nightmare. What if he _had_ been sorted into Slytherin? Would he and Draco be best friends and Voldemort not be around? He didn't know.

-----*-----

Harry was petting Hedwig during his meal after post. The only letter he'd received was from Hagrid. But suddenly, a new owl came in and dropped dead on Harry's plate.

It carried a Howler.

Panicked, Harry looked around. Dumbledore rose from his chair, noticing the red Howler. Well, _everyone_ noticed it. People were nudging him to open it. Ron whispered to him and told him to run away with it.

"OUT WITH IT, POTTER!" Snape bellowed, and Harry closed his eyes, trying to think of who would be sending him one. Then again, the dead owl gave it away. Dumbledore nodded, agreeing with Snape. Harry opened the envelope, standing up. But nothing came out at first. It was silent.

"What the..?" Ron asked, but before anyone could do anything, sudden painful screams erupted from the envelope. Most of the students covered their ears, scared at the outburst. But Harry remained standing, the Howler gripped in his shaking hands.

"_Crutio_!" The faint sound said, and the screams got louder, and he was begging for mercy.

It was Sirius.

Harry's vision blurred as he listened to his Godfather being tortured, imagining what else they were doing to him. He could hear the Death Eater faintly say, "are you ready to speak yet, Black?" The students in the Hall who heard it all gasped. _Sirius Black_. Then Sirius's pained response, "never, you bastard!"

More terrifying screams, then it was silent. Everyone in the room sat, stunned. Even the Slytherin's faces showed pity for having received such a horrible letter. Suddenly, the Hall burst into commotion. 

"Sirius Black was being tortured!"

"Why did they send it to Harry?"

"Harry, do you know Sirius Black?"

Harry remained standing, his pulse racing, scared for his Godfather. His hands shook violently, holding the letter tightly. Lupin was hurrying across the Hall toward Harry frantically.

Then someone from the Hufflepuff table said loudly, "Well, Sirius Black deserves what's happening to him."

That's when Harry snapped, realization hitting him.

"SIRIUS DOESN'T DESERVE IT!" Harry screamed at everyone, backing up from Lupin, "HE'S INNOCENT! SIRIUS DOESN'T DESERVE TO DIE!"

"_Harry_!" Lupin said fiercly, grabbing Harry's arm, but Harry jerked away.

"TELL THEM, PROFESSOR! TELL THEM HOW YOU AND MY DAD WERE _BEST FRIENDS_ WITH SIRIUS! TELL THEM!" Harry's voice was thick with emotion, the Hall dead silent, watching Harry freak out. Lupin grabbed Harry's arm again and forced him out of the Hall, where Harry pulled away and glared at him, "how could you not defend your best friend!?"

Lupin remained silent, pushing Harry toward his classroom, but Harry stopped, "tell me why you wouldn't defend him!"

"Harry.." Lupin said softly, "just drop it."

"NO!" Harry yelled at him, "Sirius is your _best friend_."

"Was." Lupin corrected quietly, "he _was_ my best friend."

Harry narrowed his eyes, confused, "what do you mean?"

"Was, as in he _used to be_." Lupin replied calmly, "let's go to my classroom so I can explain."

"No. Explain here. Now." Harry refused to move, his hands still clutching the red Howler.

"Fine!" Lupin threw his hand outward angrily, "_fine_!" He glared at Harry, "if you want to know and suffer, then _go ahead_! Sirius is dead, Harry! That Howler was delivered by an owl that died immediately. That means that the letter is a few days old. Sirius was found the day before yesterday in Knockturn Alley."

-----------------

"...Because there is no greater enemy than an idiot that doesn't understand that he is an idiot." ----Jhonen Vasquez

Don't hate me for this chapter.

I'm in a posting mood! *crosses fingers for reviews* I'm going to the doctor tomorrow again for my back. Wish me luck! 


	11. //We came to rock the party all night lo...

**Before I forget:** I have no idea what Morrigan is, exactly. I'm looking stuff up on her right now. She's a Goddess of Slaughter, from what I'm reading. But for my story, let's make her the Queen of Nightmares, okie dokie?

Thanks to the people who reviewed chapter 10!: 

_Amy_: I tried to leave a "good" cliff hanger. My back is doing okay. I found out yesterday that I've got a cracked vertebrae (damn snowboarding!), and spondylithysosis or something, where the vertebrae are supposed to fuse together and they don't, so it causes a lot of pain. Plus, one of the disks under my cracked vertebrae is disintegrating, so I'll be in MORE pain in a couple years when I have no disk there! *sighs*. Also - I have no idea why it won't let you review for Dragon Tears! I'm sorry, but thanks for telling me it doesn't work ;)

_K_: Thanks for saying this is good. I don't think it's too great, though, but whatever floats your boat!

_Adam_: You're a true reader! I love you, always leaving me notes! I feel so loved! *points to my thank you for Amy* there's my verdict on my back!

_Prophetess of Heart_: Right..yes, lol, Harry broke down. I mean, I think I would too..no sleep and..yeah.

_Moi_: I'm sorry I killed Sirius. Oh well! I love Sirius (**NO CRYSTAL, _I_ LOVE SIRIUS!**)

_Katma_: Sorry! Sirius is really dead in this one. I was considering having it be a nightmare, but (to me) the scene was more "real" than "nightmarish", though someone dying seems like a nightmare..

_Bored Beyond Belief_: I'm glad you liked Snape's concern! More concern really soon!

_Laurie_: Sirius had to die to thicken my plot. Muahahaha..

_Nicky_: Sirius is dead! *sighs* I know I know. I'll miss him too.

_Midnight Dragon_: I'm sorry chapter 10 was really sad! It might get easier from here. I haven't decided.

_Creamy Mimi_: Lupin is exploding because his best friend was just murdered, and Harry was being a bitch about the situation ;)

Okie! Here's chapter 11! I hope you guys like it..*frowns* 

-----*-----

"It isn't good for your health to be sitting out here, Mr. Potter." Came Snape's cold voice from behind Harry, who was sitting on the steps of the castle, staring blankly at the scenery in front of him. It wasn't much of a scenery, anyway. Rain was pouring down, chilling him to the bone, and yet he didn't notice.

"Mr. Potter?" Snape asked, sitting down on the step himself. Harry moved away from him involuntarily, "I won't hurt you."

"You knew about it, didn't you?" Harry asked, his voice cracking, "you knew Voldemort was torturing him."

"No, I didn't." Snape replied quietly, "I'm not in the inner circle."

Harry remained silent, putting his chin on his arms and staring at the pouring rain.

"I have lost someone close before, Mr. Potter." Snape cleared his throat, "and it's not a great position for everyone who is left behind. It does hurt for a while, but you will get over it."

"Why Sirius?" Harry looked up, tears in his eyes, "why did it have to be him? I mean, when Voldemort attacked the Dursley's, it wasn't all that bad. I got out of there - barely - and they weren't much of a family anyway. But now Sirius."

Snape sighed, "whatever happened with the Dursley's?"

"Dumbledore didn't tell you?" Harry asked, confused, "but wouldn't he tell all of the professors?"

"I'm not sure he knows all of the details himself, Mr. Potter. You never told him." Snape replied, looking out at the Forbidden Forest.

"Oh." Harry frowned, looking down, "I don't remember much of it. Uncle Vernon had refused to let Voldemort into our house because he was one of "Those people", meaning wizards. Voldemort killed him on the spot. He thought I was in the house, so he..er.._blew it up_." Harry shuddered, blinking back his tears, "but I was out in the backyard, doing Aunt Petunia's garden. All I remember is being behind a bunch of trees and bushes and then being knocked out by the explosion."

"That's horrible." Snape said quietly, "I'm surprised you have come this far. With Morrigan, and your family."

Harry just remained silent, too numb and upset to think about what Snape was saying. Snape cleared his throat and waved his wand, a mug of hot chocolate appearing. He handed it to Harry.

"It's got a bit of sleeping, dreamless potion. It's the best we can do right now for trying to rid you of the demon." Snape explained, and Harry just took it, nodding his thanks. He sipped it, continuing to stare off.

"Do you think I'll ever defeat Voldemort?" Harry asked after a while of silence.

Snape paused before replying, "I'm not completely sure. Right this moment, if you were to ever come in contact with him, I don't think so. Mainly because of your sleeping state. In general, yes, you can defeat Voldemort."

"Why do you think that?" Harry licked his lips, the cold air hitting them like icicles, "after all the people that have died because of me, why do you and everyone else think I can defeat him?"

"Because you can." Snape said simply, "Lucius Malfoy tried to stop Voldemort before school started. He had suffered, and in the end, died. Do you know why he tried to stop Voldemort?" He asked, and Harry shook his head, "because his son had devised a plan to make the family withdraw from the Death Eater's group. When Lucius had approached Voldemort, suggesting the group to dismember for a while to make everyone believe there wasn't a threat, Voldemort saw through it."

"Is that why Draco feels so guilty about his father's death?" Harry looked up at his professor, who nodded in response, "that sucks."

"It does suck. Voldemort doesn't know about Draco Malfoy's plan, though he assumed Narcissa, Lucius's wife, had tried talking him into dismembering the group for a while. Lucius loved her dearly, contrary to what people think." Snape looked up at the black sky, "she will be killed soon. Draco knows this, but is in denial right now, in hopes that people will see his pain and either kill him or save his mother. Unfortunately, saving unmeaningful lives such as Narcissa's in pointless."

Harry looked up, surprised, "how could you say that, sir? A life is not pointless, unless it is Voldemort or Wormtail's."

"Yes, Wormtail's life is meaningless, as well as Narcissa's. You see, she has been fighting for the good, behind her husband's back. She knows I am on her side, and trusted me with her information. I say she has a meaningless life, because in reality, she has done nothing to either prevent the Dark Lord's rise, nor give information to Dumbledore directly. She is a flunky; tossed around at everyone's will. She is there just to be there - nothing else. Voldemort has no use for her anymore, " Snape replied, and paused to sort out what he would say next, "and Voldemort knows that if she's in His way, she won't let him get to Draco."

"To become a Death Eater like his father." Harry said and drank more hot chocolate, "and is Draco fighting for us or Them?"

"He is fighting for Them, " Snape hesitated, "but he's on our side. He's much like a flunky, like his mother and father."

"Is he a Death Eater?"

"Not yet." Snape replied, "but on the eve of graduation in his 7th year, if Voldemort, or Draco, is alive until then, he will be admitted into the circle."

Harry nodded and remained silent again for a few moments, sipping his drink, feeling the potion starting to work, "professor? How do you know so much of the Inner Circle if you aren't in it?"

"I have Narcissa Malfoy, " Snape said, standing up and arching his back, stretching, "and other members of the Circle are on our side."

"What about Kristoph?" Harry stood up, warmth starting to course through his body, but the rain was pouring down quicker.

"He's harmless." Snape held out his hand, "but I say we make a truce."

"What for?" Harry gave a small lazy grin, "you can't torment Neville forever, sir. No truce."

Snape eyed him before bowing his head slightly, which confused Harry, then he walked off inside. Harry shuddered from the sudden cold that enveloped him. He walked inside, looking down at the mug that had some cold chocolate at the bottom still. Maybe Snape wasn't that bad of a guy, Harry decided.

Then, as if on cue, Harry's happiness was crushed. Professor Lupin was sitting on the floor beside his classroom, leaning against the wall, his head ontop of his folded arms, which were on his knees, pulled up to his chest. Snape was knelt beside him, but when he saw Harry approaching, he stood up and cleared his throat.

"I will retrieve your Wolfsbane." Snape gave Harry another glance before walking off to the dungeons. Lupin looked up, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his cloak.

"I'm so sorry, Harry.." Lupin struggled to stand up, "I've just not had a good month. The Full Moon is in a few days, and I'm getting ill again."

"It's okay, professor." Harry replied quietly, his eyes on the floor as he shifted nervously on his feet.

"Tomorrow, if you come to class, I'll have some things to give you." Lupin let out a small, bitter laugh, "it's so weird how this all had to end like this. Who would've thought the werewolf would live out of all of his old friends? James and Lily died trying to protect their title and family, Sirius died protecting a secret and you, who is his only family, and Peter.." Lupin trailed off.

New tears sprung in Harry's eyes, but he fought them back, "I miss him, and I barely knew him."

"I know." Lupin nodded, "It's good that you knew him at all. He was a great man. Not like Peter, of course.."

"What secret was Sirius hiding?" Harry asked, biting his lip nervously.

"I don't know." Lupin sighed, "I'm glad I don't know, either. If You-Know-Who comes after me, then I can't reveal whatever it was. He was a Secret Keeper for someone, though I'm not sure who." Lupin racked his brain, "possibly Arabella Figg, though I doubt it, because.."

"Because she's my Secret Keeper." Harry replied, and Lupin nodded.

"Maybe he was keeping a secret of yours." Lupin suggested, "James told him _everything_ about your family and ancestors. I got jealous a lot, but now I'm glad I didn't find out. Sirius kept those secrets, I might've told." Lupin sighed, folding his arms and shivering, "I wish I knew why they killed him, though. What they were looking for."

"Who found Sirius?"

"Villagers." Lupin replied quietly, "they all thought he had been attacked by something not human."

"Was he that badly hurt?" Harry asked, starting to get choked up again. Lupin nodded slightly.

They stood in the hallway until people started roaming the halls, going toward the Great Hall for supper. They gave Harry looks like he was crazy for flipping out on them earlier. Harry just stood with Lupin numbly, staring at them, unblinking.

"Harry.." Hermione came up to the two and gave Harry a tight hug, "I hate it when you run off upset."

"Sorry." Harry mumbled. When Lupin told him about what happened to Sirius, he numbly walked outside where it had just started to sprinkle. The professors and students walked by often, making sure he was there, until Snape came with his words of wisdom.

"Don't be sorry, just don't do it anymore." She buried her head in the crook of his neck, taking a shuddering breath, "I'm really sorry, Harry. I can't imagine what you're going through."

"It's okay." Harry gave a small sigh, "I didn't know him very well."

"But he was your family." Hermione let out a small cry, "even I miss him."

Lupin placed his hand on Hermione's back, saying softly, "it's okay, Ms. Granger. Sirius died protecting someone. He always used to say he'd want to die the noblest death, when we were kids. Don't ask, " he gave Harry a grin, "we talked about crazy things. But this _was_ noble."

"I know." Hermione nodded, pulling back, her eyes shining with tears, "I just wish Harry could've lived with him."

Harry bit his lip as a small smile crept onto his face, "why, Hermione? Did you fancy my Godfather?"

But instead of a reply, she just hugged him again. Harry hugged her back, sighing deeply, "I'm going to try and get some sleep, be alone for a while. Snape gave me some sleeping dreamless potion.."

"That isn't good." Lupin frowned, "you know what will happen."

"I know, but I need sleep badly." Harry let go of his best friend, "tell Ron I said hi."

Then he hurried out of the corridor, toward his flat.

-----*-----

Harry jumped off his broom, running toward his dead Godfather and (apparent) boyfriend. He fell to his knees right before their bodies, the wet (from water or blood? Harry wondered) ground causing him to slide a few more inches. He picked up Sirius's arm, feeling for a pulse, and let out a small sob, realizing he wasn't there. He did the same to Draco's arm, and he was also dead.

"Sirius, Draco, " Harry let out another cry, "please don't leave me. I love you guys. You can't go..please." He begged, "please, Sirius! Don't die. You are supposed to take care of me for my parents. Remember? Draco, I love you, " Harry touched Draco's face softly, running his fingers down the side of his face, tears lightly falling from his eyes, "I love you. You can't go.."

It went black again, and more screams were heard from the students who were trying to get inside. Harry looked around frantically, trying to decide what to do. When it became light outside, again, more people were dead. Ron was carelessly tossed on a rail on the bleachers, Hermione on the ground a few feet away. Harry started to yell, scream, and cry. It was all he could do to get his anger and hurt out. He looked down at Sirius again, but jumped back when Sirius's head turned and his dead eyes stared up at him.

"You killed me." Sirius said, his voice hollow, "and now you will die too, Mr. Potter."

Confused, Harry tried to push himself off the ground. Sirius lunged at him, his hands on his Godson's shoulders. Harry let out another terrified scream, grabbing Sirius's face and pushing him away.

"Mr. Potter." Sirius hissed as Harry closed his eyes, digging his fingers into the side's of Sirius's face, "_STOP_!"

Sirius started shaking his shoulders, and the dream started to dissipate. Harry's eyes flew open, realizing he was still crying, and someone was shaking his body. Standing above him was Dumbledore, his eyes wide with fear and concern. Behind him, Snape had his head in his hands, wiping at his face with his sleeve.

"Harry?" Dumbledore asked, his voice barely shaking, "are you all right?"

After realizing that he had had a nightmare, and that Sirius was surely dead, he nodded slightly, wiping his tear and sweat streaked face.

"You were out for two days, Harry." Dumbledore searched Harry's eyes, "and we couldn't get in. It has been locked. Are you sure you're okay?"

"For two days?" Harry asked, lowering his arm slowly, "I was asleep for _two days_?"

Dumbledore looked up at Snape, "are you okay, professor?"

Snape moved his hands from his face, revealing scratch marks, "I think so. Potter, you need to cut your nails."

Harry ignored the comment, "how did you get in?"

"Kristoph found a way in." Dumbledore replied, "but I think we should get you to Madam Pomfrey."

Harry lifted his left arm to brush back his hair, when Dumbledore let out a small cry and grabbed it, forcing the sleeve upward. Snape and Kristoph (who was standing with Snape) bolted forward, confusion setting in. Harry looked down at his arm, confused, grabbing for his glasses at the bedside table.

The Dark Mark was the first thing that met his eyes.

-----------------------


	12. //Why are you running away?\\

Thank you guys!

crookshanks.cat - I'm glad you think my story is great! *sighs happily*

Prophetess of Heart - Poor Sev?! Poor Harry and Sirius! *grins* here's more, just like you wanted!

Adam - I seriously love you, man. Thank's for being such a great reviewer/reader!

Midnight Dragon - Yes! Poor, poor Harry. But, er..*coughs and remains silent*

Laurie - I'm glad I made your bad day better! I had a bad day yesterday, and today my friend punched me REALLY freakin hard (she's on the PT team in ROTC! She's one of the best, and she's so freaking strong) in the socket of my shoulder, and I think I dislocated it..*mumbles* unfortunately, we don't find out what happens to Harry yet..hell, even I don't know!

Creamy Mimi - loved your review.

Sou - No, I haven't seen Attack of the Clones yet! ALL of the movie theatres are sold out until Tuesday here! It really bites! I'm gonna see Spiderman again tomorrow though ;) Yes, we'll find out what Sirius was hiding..eventually. Harry's nails are long enough, because he hasn't..uhh..noticed their length?

Nicky - I liked the convo between Harry and Snape too. It was very sweet, in my opinion. Unfortunately, this chapter makes Snape seem mean again!

FW Viper - The whole immortality thing was just something I thought of one night when I was talking to my best friend about my immortal [dead] moth on my window sill. There really isn't an answer to the question, because everyone has their own opinions. I asked everyone at school about it too - I got crazy answers ;) Thanks for saying my sucky story is excellent!

To everyone else who read this but don't leave me notes - here's chapter 12!!

-----*-----

"Death Eater." Snape's voice was barely audible, and his head slowly moved upward, his eyes locking with Harry's, his mouth twisted into a sneer, "you became a Death Eater!"

Harry gaped at his professors, racking his brain. The last thing he remembered was taking a potion that Kristoph had given him and fallen asleep. Right after he had talked to Snape and Lupin.

"You.." Kristoph backed up, shaking his head, "how? Why?"

"I..I didn't..no.." Harry's fingers traced the Mark, his nails digging into the skin, "it's not real! It can't be. I swear, I didn't..no.."

Dumbledore looked up at Snape, "did you know about this?"

"Why would I?" Snape asked, staring down at Harry angrily.

"Fetch me the Vertiaserum." Dumbledore told the professor, turning to Harry, "and, Death Eater, we will find out the truth."

Harry blinked. "I swear, sir, I didn't know about it! Oh, please believe me."

Dumbledore ignored the boy, turning to Kristoph, "do you think this has something to do with Morrigan, Reilly? I've known Harry for six years, and never once has he shown any rebellious thoughts. Peter didn't, either, but.."

"It could have something to do with her." Kristoph swallowed thickly, refusing to look Harry in the eyes, for fear of being killed, "though I'm not sure how she could do something like this."

Snape returned a few minutes later, also avoiding eye contact with Harry.

"Open your mouth." Dumbledore said sternly, not knowing whether he should believe Harry or not.

Harry obeyed, and soon, he was under the tranzelike state.

"Can you hear me?" Dumbledore asked, shivering slightly.

"Yes."

"Are you a Death Eater?" Snape asked bluntly, and Harry's head rolled for a moment, focussing on his arm.

"It appears so." Harry replied sarcastically.

"Do you remember getting that Mark?" Dumbledore glared up at Snape, but turned his attention back to Harry.

"No." Harry shrugged, "I don't remember anything."

Dumbledore gave a relieved sigh, "are you fighting for or against Voldemort?"

"Against." Harry made a face, "I will kill Voldemort with my bare hands for murdering my parents and Godfather."

"Mr. Potter, can you -"

Harry looked up unfocused on Snape, "I was not finished. I will kill you, too, professor, because you will turn against us in the future. Percy Weasley shall die as well."

"That is enough." Dumbledore said calmly, and Harry obeyed, dropping onto his side on his bed, fast asleep. The Headmaster looked up at Snape, worried, "he is a Death Eater. We cannot have this."

"But, sir..how?" Kristoph asked mekely, shaking slightly, still refusing to look at Harry.

"I don't know. I'll speak to Lupin." Dumbledore said before the three quietly left the flat, leaving the sleeping Death Eater.

-----*-----

Harry held his wand in front of his body, glaring down at the trembling figure, "get _up_! You're a poor excuse for a wizard!" He kicked the figure, who fell onto his side in the mud, "GET UP, WEASLEY, OR YOU WILL DIE A FAR WORSE DEATH!"

Percy Weasley hurried to a standing position, but cowered from the taller figure, "please don't, Potter. Master will -"

"He will thank me, Weasley!" Harry hissed, "you have betrayed us all! Your whole circle! Spying for Draco Malfoy and Dumbledore! Snape will surely have your head for this, before Master gets a hold of you!"

"What happened to you?" Percy asked, taking a step back from the Death Eater, "you used to be Ron's best friend. You used to be a good guy. Why?"

"Why?" Harry spit on the ground beside Percy's feet, "I'll tell you why, Weasley! I have lost my whole family. I have nothing to live for anymore."

"You had us." Percy whispered, "you had all of us."

"SILENCE!" Harry roared before killing Percy. In the floor above him, he could hear Nagini hissing for him.

*

Harry woke up in a cold sweat, his arms shaking. He took a deep breath and reached for his glasses, but caught the sight of his left arm, remembering what had happened. Immediately, he got out of bed and rushed out of his flat to Dumbledore's office.

Lupin was sitting in a chair across from Dumbledore's desk, and upon seeing Harry enter, he rose and grabbed Harry's arm, looking at the Dark Mark himself.

"This can't be, Albus, it can't!" Lupin looked up at the Headmaster, "he is only sixteen!"

"I know." Dumbledore sighed, "Harry, you look ill. Sit down."

Harry sat down across from Dumbledore and said immediately, "I don't remember getting this."

"We know. The Veritaserum, er, revealed us things." Dumbledore replied with a little smile, but turned to Lupin, "do it, now."

Before Harry knew what was happening, Lupin had his wand raised and mumbled something. Then, as if a wall had been removed, images flew into his mind's eye, and he let out a small cry.

"What?" Lupin asked, dropping his wand onto the floor and grabbed Harry's shoulders, "what is it?"

"Oh my God." Harry whispered, blinking rapidly.

"What happened?"

"I..I can't." Harry got out of the chair and fled the room. He ran as fast as he could down the hall, the sound of rain outside. Down the corridors, up the moving staircases, past every place he'd ever been, until he came to a stop beside the door where Fluffy used to be in his first year, "you damn dog! Ever since I saw you in my first year, my life has _sucked_ beyond suck!" Harry threw the door open, revealing the empty room. The trap door was still in the floor, and he walked to it, pulling it open.

He slid down into the underground room, looking around. A few dead pieces of Devil's Snare lied around the room, but other than that, it was empty. He walked down the hall to the room where the flying keys had been. The broom was still there, leaning up against a wall (an old Cleansweep 7), and the old brass key was lying on the floor next to it, it's wings damaged. Harry picked up the key and put it into the oak door (not before grabbing the broom, in case) and entered the next room.

It was empty too. It was all empty. Every single room - the one where the potion's used to be. The one with the giant chess board. Where the giant had been. Just..everything. Harry slowly walked into the room where the Mirror of Erised had once been. Right now, all he wanted to do was look into the mirror to see what he truly desired. What his heart wanted the most. Harry couldn't decide. To see Sirius again, or die. Whatever it was, he would never know.

With a soft sigh, Harry sat down in the furthest corner in the room, dragging his knees to his chest. He rested his chin on his knees, his hands locking in front of his shins. He let out another sigh.

_Is this what I've become?_ Harry thought miserably, _A Death Eater who hides in a passage that everyone has forgotten about?_

"No Death Eater." Harry whispered to himself, closing his eyes tightly, "a coward."

But his eyes shot open again. The images from the days, weeks, _months_ prior were playing in his mind's eye. First he couldn't sleep without maybe seeing the images. Then he would have his day visions from lack of sleep. Now this. He couldn't even blink without seeing..

"I didn't mean to, Sirius.." Harry let out another cry, "I swear on my father's grave, I didn't mean to."

  


An hour or so later, Harry got onto his feet again, picking up the broom on his way. He took a step forward, his aching and sleeping legs causing him to lurch. He looked at the Cleansweep, then mounted the broom, slowly kicking off. The ceiling was high enough for him to fly around a little. The Cleansweep sucked anyway, and wouldn't have much usage. He thought while he drifted along. The thoughts consisted of his time with the Dursleys, when they had been killed, and then the new thoughts, which he quickly pushed away. He thought about when he had gotten the Marauder's Map, and met Sirius for the first time. Well, the first time that he could remember.

His mind started to realize all the things he'd done wrong in his lifetime at Hogwarts. He'd become a Gryffindor. That had to be the first mistake. If he had become a Slytherin, well, it wouldn't be that bad. He'd befriended Ron, putting his family in danger, as well as Hermione. He had helped kill Sirius. Now he was a Death Eater.

Building up all the courage he could, Harry eased onto the ground, threw the broom onto his shoulder, and left the empty room toward the secret passage. There, he got back onto his broom, going through the secret door in the (now) ceiling. He dropped the broom beside the passage and started to leave the room altogether.

"Potter?" Draco asked from the hallway, "what are you doing in there?"

"Hm?" Harry looked up, "oh. I was thinking. What are you doing?"

"Looking for you." Draco replied quietly, "because my mother told me..about.." Draco's eyes flicked down to Harry's arm, and Harry moved it behind his back uncomfortably, "it isn't the end of the world."

"Yeah, it is." Harry snapped, "I killed my Godfather and the Dursleys because of this."

"I killed my father because of it!" Draco drawled, narrowing his eyes, "no use crying over spilt milk!"

"Don't tell me that, Malfoy. You were crying for days." Harry sneered.

Draco remained silent as they stood in the corridor, staring at each other before Draco bit his lip nervously, "I'm sorry. I've just been upset lately, Potter. You understand, though, right?"

"I guess." Harry replied coldly, his eyes averting to the floor. Only a few days ago he had held Draco in his arms because his father had died and he was grieving. Now, all Harry wanted was the same.

"Come here." Draco said softly, holding out his arms and taking a cautious step forward. Harry looked up at the inviting arms.

"No, I -"

"Potter, do you have to make everything so _difficult_? Come here." Draco replied with a small smile, and Harry took a few steps forward before hugging his enemy, who hugged back, "see, Potty, it isn't so bad."

"Yes it is. It's horrible." Harry let out a small choking sound, trying to hold back his tears that now threatened to spill since he had found out about Sirius's death, "It's all my fault that my Godfather is dead. Why did it have to be him? What did he know that was so special?"

"I dunno, Potter." Draco replied, rubbing his rival's back. Any time before Lucius's death, Draco would laugh at the thought of the two being in this position. But now, both of their lives were slowly being destroyed. Moreso, anyway, than they had been before, "but I know that he died because he loved you." _I would too, Potter._ Draco thought, biting his lip.

"Either that or he couldn't handle me being his Godson." Harry said, and Draco tightened his grasp.

"Of course he could handle it. Potter, why do you think he refused to tell them whatever he was guarding?"

"Because he didn't want to stoop as low as Wormtail." Harry mumbled, forcing the tears in. He couldn't cry, no matter how much Draco told him it was okay. Harry pulled back, "thanks, Malfoy."

"Welcome, Potter." Draco studied Harry a moment, "well, bye."

"Bye." Harry said before they went their seperate ways. Harry built up his strength again and hurried off to his flat to do what his mind was set on.

Nearly Headless Nick smirked to himself, floating down the hall toward Dumbledore's office.

-----------------------

This marks the end of prewritten chapters. I didn't like my chapters 13-17, so I deleted them all. They were really great at the time, but I hated the direction it was going. So now, we get this! *grins*

You know I'd walk 1000 miles if I could just see you..tonight..


	13. //For the past 5 years, I have shed my t...

"I told you, Albus." Snape held out his hand expectantly as Nearly Headless Nick floated above the two in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore sighed and smiled lightly, reaching into his pocket.

"Wait!" The two professors looked up as the Slytherin Ghost, The Bloody Baron, entered the office, "Dumbledore, my sir, you have won the bet."

"What?" Snape and Nick said together, glaring at the Baron, "but how?"

"You see, it was Potter who made the first move." The Baron said, stretching and eyeing the Headmaster and Potion's teacher, "I saw them a few days ago in the Astronomy Tower. Potter was holding Malfoy as the latter cried."

"But I saw the note that Malfoy had passed to Potter in class!" Nick looked over at Dumbledore, "Malfoy had told Potter to meet him there. That's considered a first move!"

"It is, Severus." Dumbledore said with a smug smile.

"However, Potter had admitted he fancied Malfoy first." The Baron went on to say, floating above with Nick, both deep in thought.

"I say it is a draw, Headmaster." Nearly Headless Nick declared after a moment of thought, "for we are not completely sure ourselves as to who made the first move, though it's most likely Malfoy."

"I say Potter." The Baron said matter-of-factly.

Snape scowled, "why is it that the Baron, who is the _Slytherin_ ghost, is on Potter's side, and the Gryffindor ghost is on Malfoy's?"

Dumbledore eyed the ghosts curiously, "yes, why is that?"

"Because in this case, my dear sirs, " The Baron said, "Potter made the first move."

"MALFOY!" Nicolas roared, but the Baron gave him a look that shut him up.

"What did you find out about the two tonight, Nick?" Dumbledore asked, leaning back in his chair. Snape remained sitting rigid. He had been this *holds fingers an inch apart* close to winning the bet. Stupid Bloody Baron.

"Potter had gotten into the old Mirror of Erised hiding place earlier. I watched him sit there for about an hour. I thought he might've died or something, but he stood up and grabbed one of the old Cleansweeps and flew around, thinking, I suppose, " Nick thought, "then he got off the broom and left the secret rooms, going back up onto the main level, where Malfoy happened to be 'looking for him'. They had an exchange of words, then Malfoy was being a true, er, _friend_, " Nick looked meaningfully at Snape, who involuntarily shuddered, "and hugged him, talking to him."

"Oh?" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, "then what?"

"Potter took off for his flat."

"I see." Dumbledore scowled in thought, "Professor, do you think the two are..?"

"An item?" Snape asked, the words foul in his mouth, "I hope not."

"Really, now? You and I have been betting on this inevitable relationship since we heard him in St. Mungos." Dumbledore told the professor, who narrowed his eyes, "you remember that, don't you?"

"Of course I do." Snape replied, licking his lips, a small grin starting to appear on his face, "but I think we should get the other professor's involved in this bet. Then we can see what happens in classes."

"There is a no gambling rule on campus." Dumbledore said, then nodded slightly at Snape, "but if you can get some bets going, making sure none of the students find out, then sure. No money, though, Severus."

Snape grinned maliciously, "oh no, sir. No money." He rose from his chair and left the office without another word.

Dumbledore sighed and looked at the Baron and Sr. Nicolas, "you two didn't just happen to be near Harry's flat when he had been locked in for two days?"

"No." The Baron exchanged curious looks with Nicolas, "why, did something happen?"

Dumbledore waved them off, shaking his head.

The two ghosts bowed out of the room, leaving Dumbledore to think to himself. What exactly was he getting himself into, betting with other professors over something that was really none of their business? Though some happiness should rise from Harry, after the things he'd gone through lately. There was still a nagging feeling in the back of his head that something wasn't right, and he couldn't place his finger on it.

-----*-----

"Remus!" Harry pounded on his professor's closed office door, his voice thick, "REMUS! OPEN THE DOOR! I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!" Tears threatened to spill, but he refused to let them until he was inside. Lupin pulled the door open in a panic.

"What? Did something happen?" Lupin asked, grabbing Harry's arms, "you're freezing and shaking and - come in." he pulled Harry inside, shutting the door, "what's wrong? And why in God's name are you calling me by my first name?"

"I killed Sirius." Harry fell onto the floor on his knees in front of Lupin, "please forgive me. I didn't mean to kill Sirius. I was forced to, and..and.." he broke into sobs, pleading with Lupin, "forgive me, Remus! It's my fault Sirius is dead!"

"Harry?" Lupin pulled Harry up by his wrists, and Harry shrank back, "did I hurt you?"

"I'm so sorry." Harry whispered, the sobs that racked his body a minute ago now slowing, "I was forced to."

"You didn't kill Sirius!" Lupin said, exasperated, "you were at school when he died."

"I tortured him." Harry whispered, looking down at the floor, "the night Voldemort killed the Dursley's, he captured me and..and I tortured Sirius so badly that he couldn't open his eyes, and..they kept torturing him more..until he died.."

Lupin blinked and sighed, "you didn't torture him, Harry."

"YES I DID!" Harry screamed, rolling the sleeve of his left arm up, "THAT'S WHY I GOT THIS! THAT'S WHY THE DOOR OF MY FLAT WAS LOCKED FOR TWO DAYS! BECAUSE I KILLED MY OWN FAMILY, AND THAT WAS INITIATION! DON'T YOU FUCKING SEE?!"

"Okay, Harry, okay." Lupin said softly, "it's okay. Just sit down and I'll get some butterbeer and -"

"That's it?" Harry stared at him, "that's it? I'm a Death Eater, I killed Sirius..and..that's it?"

"You didn't kill Sirius, Harry. He killed himself." Lupin sighed, "and yes, that's it. We know you didn't willingly become a Death Eater. No one knows about it."

Harry stared at Lupin with fresh tears in his eyes, "he killed himself? How do you know?"

"Because I got an owl from him saying he'd do it." Lupin walked to his desk and picked up a letter, "he said he couldn't hold on much longer, and they were going to force Veritserum into his body if he didn't tell them whatever he was hiding. So he killed himself." Lupin gave a half smile, "to protect you."

"But..but.." Harry crumbled to the floor again, "I tortured him. It's my fault he's dead."

"It isn't your fault, Harry. Trust me. If he was afraid of you, he would've told the secret and he wouldn't have sent you that letter, wanting you to save him." Lupin knelt next to Harry, "he knows you wouldn't do this stuff deliberately."

"I don't deserve to be let off this easily. I should be killed."

"Look at me, " Lupin said, and Harry lifted his head slowly, "I am your guardian now. If I was scared of you or if I wanted you killed, I would've turned you in already. Sirius loved you. I love you. Your mother and father love you. Does that mean anything to you?"

"Yes." Harry nodded before Lupin pulled him into a hug.

Lupin rubbed Harry's back slowly, "we're so close to ridding you of Morrigan right now, Harry. So so close. We just need you to hold on a little longer, okay?"

"Okay." Harry pulled back and wiped his eyes, giving a small smile, "thanks."

Lupin smiled back before it faded, replaced with a serious look, "was that one of the memories I freed earlier?"

"Yeah." Harry licked his lips, looking down, "I should've told you earlier when you performed that charm. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Lupin shrugged, standing up, offering his hand to pull up Harry, "was there anything else that was freed?"

Harry opened his mouth, then shut it quickly, shaking his head. Lupin eyed him before nodding.

"Okay then. You should get back to bed, " Lupin checked his watch, "it's late."

"Goodnight." Harry said before offering a little smile and turning around, leaving the room before Lupin could say anything. He bit back tears, forcing the new memories to the back of his mind.

-----*-----

Wow how exciting, huh? I'm 2 notes away from 100! *grins and waves at my readers*

Thanks you guys!

nell - I'm sorry that last chapter was confusing.

AngelDustBuster - My story isn't good! *sighs*

Zahrah Radcliffe - Sorry you think chapter 12 was random in your opinion! I was building up for this chapter and the future relationship of Draco/Harry.

Laurie - Lupin put those memory charm reverser thingies on Harry..yeah..unblocking his blocked memories.

mandraco - I wrote more!

Katma - You'll find out more stuff that Harry saw soon. Next chapter maybe, if not, it'll be in chapter 15/16.

Sou - My mommy saw Attack of the Clones yesterday..said it was good. I chose Spiderman over Star Wars, cuz Tobey Maquire is hott. I've seen Spiderman twice now..*drools* Brei - all of my stories are incredibly confusing, because I expect my smart readers to understand it ;) maybe you're smart and I'm stupid.

Moi - I'm no genius, and this story sucks beyond suck.

Razzabeth - !!


	14. //Why do you have to make things so comp...

Thanks you guys!

MOI - lmao! Thanks for your review! Since midnight, I've been puking everything possible (about 8 times), and I'm sitting here (my tummy doesn't hurt much anymore..probably getting ready to have me puke up my drink) reading through my reviews, yours being the newest. I love it when I have a crappy day/night, and I get awesome reviews. Too bad my story can't rock my socks - don't have any on.

Prophetess of Hearts - I like to leave little cliff hangers to make people confused as hell. Harry will have many a flashback!

nell - Glad you aren't *that* confused anymore! *grins* Thanks for saying I've a good story.

Laurie - I love the bet thing too! It's my best idea yet, other than my diorama in one of my other stories! Mwahahaha.

Nalesko - I didn't know how people would react to Harry's breaking down. I felt it was kinda dumb, but I put it up anyway. Sorry it made you cry, but it helps me realize that it wasn't *that* bad. I'm glad you like the plot, though I don't intend to make you cry!

Evil-Chicken-Wrath - *snickers* nice name. You're welcome for me emailing you! I understand about internet being screwed up. Trust me, I ALWAYS crash my computers.

Zany - Okay okay, maybe I'm not a crappy writer and this isn't a crappy story - TO YOU! I think I am! *sighs* I make my stories confusing so that it keeps peoples attention and they want to know wtf I was thinking. That's my writing style I guess. It's all good that this wasn't your first choice *glares then smiles*. I'm glad you like it, though, because now I have some 'fans', and I can write!

Razzabeth - !!!! Harrymeister?! Lmfao..

AngelDustBuster - My 100th reviewer! I love you name, did I ever tell you that? Sorry I don't IM you first online! I'm trying to get better at that ;) You're the 2nd person who cried! God, I feel so guilty..*breaks into a song* Cuz I feel so mad, I feel so angry..

Hannya - Woo, #99! Why the hell was your left arm numb?! Lmfao, you cracked me up, chick.

Okie! Thanks again you guys!

Up in the hot tub, poppin bubbly, spot love, punish me - Incubus remake of Big Pun's 'Still Not A Player' *GREAT song! Even if you don't like Big Pun, like me!* 

-----*-----

_Harry hid behind the bushes and watched as the house he had grown up in, 4 Privet Drive, crumbled to the ground like a destroyed sand castle. Screams were heard throughout the neighborhood, and flashes of green light shown through the evening sky. More screams, then it got dead silent. Harry thought about standing up, to go see if the Death Eater's had gone, but he got his answer before he even decided._

"Potter, my my, you've been hurt badly."

Harry whipped around and his eyes grew wide, and he opened his mouth to let out a scream, but nothing came out. Voldemort chuckled, his red eyes staring hard into Harry's green.

"Why don't you come with me?" Voldemort asked, surveying the destroyed yard and house, "there's nothing here for you anymore."

"Get away from me!" Harry hissed, finding his voice, trying to get up onto his feet to run. Why hadn't he brought his wand out with him?

"I offered your father the same chance, and look where he turned up!" Voldemort sneered, forcefully grabbing Harry's wrist and yanking him to his feet, "do you want to be dead too?"

"If it means I don't have to go with you, then yes!" Harry spat, trying to shove Voldemort off of him. But the man was stronger than Harry, and he was fighting a losing battle.

"Come on, Potter, " Voldemort smirked, narrowing his eyes, "live a little, will you?"

Harry woke up, startled, breathing heavily. He reached out and grabbed his glasses, turning on the light as he did so. Trying to push the new memory (which had been his nightmare) away, he looked at the clock beside his bed. It read 3:23 AM. Sighing, he got out of bed, deciding to take a shower and then walk around the castle for a while. He wouldn't be able to sleep, scared he'd have more nightmares/memories.

Quietly, he undressed in the bathroom while the water ran to get warm, and he stared at himself in the mirror. He hadn't slept much at all, and now that he had new memories, he knew he'd never sleep again. The Dark Mark stuck out on his body like a red piece of paper would stick out in a white room. The skull stared back at him in the reflection, the snake wrapped around it in a frightening way. It was starting to sink in now. He was a Death Eater. He had to fight with Voldemort because if he didn't, he die, making everyone else die with him. Why had Voldemort chosen him, Harry Potter, a Gryffindor, over any Slytherin with evil blood. Of all people, why Harry?

He had the answer deep within his memory, but he refused to pull it out. It'd be like breaking a dam. All his memories would flow out and refuse to stop. So that left him afraid of what might happen if the dam did break. He wondered if he'd have a breakdown, because he had glimpsed the memories. He knew what had happened to him. What Voldemort had done. And he _knew_ that Snape knew.

"Why was he lying to me?" Harry asked his reflection, choking back tears, "to protect me? Hoping I'd never find out what really happened?"

Angrily, he threw his fist out and punched the mirror, which shattered on impact. He didn't feel the glass cutting his knuckles, and the blood starting to drip from the wounds. He got into the shower, putting his glasses on the shampoo counter, and stood under the hot water, his frustrated tears blending in with the water.

-----*-----

Harry skipped breakfast. He wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone right now. Didn't want to talk to anyone about Sirius, or see Lupin sitting at the professor's table. Harry briefly wondered if Lupin blamed Harry for his (only) best friend's death. Then again, Sirius had killed himself to protect something about Harry.

He sat on a window sill that overlooked the lake, close to the dungeons. He planned on being one of the first people in class so that he could avoid anyone who might try to stop him if he was late.

"I knew I'd find you here." Hermione smiled, sitting next to him on the sill, but staring at Harry, "are you doing okay?"

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Harry asked with a small smirk, "I've never come here before."

"I figured you wouldn't want to talk to anyone, so you'd go to Snape's classroom. But Snape's still in the Hall, eating breakfast." Hermione answered, putting her head on his shoulder, "so are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Harry lied, "just thinking. I'm not hungry, and I didn't want to deal with anyone in the Hall." Harry shrugged, growing silent again, "is Ron mad at me?"

"No, why would he be?" Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno." Harry said quietly, "because I haven't really been there for you two, I guess."

Hermione put her arm around his waist and hugged him, "you've been going through _so much_. We don't expect you to push aside your problems to be there for us. Besides, nothing exciting has happened to us lately."

"Thanks." Harry hugged her back, "we should get to class now."

"Yeah." She started to get off the sill, then grabbed his bleeding hand, "what happened?"

Harry stared at his cut knuckles before saying, "oh, I punched the mirror in my bathroom."

She let out a small chuckle, shaking her head and getting off the sill, helping Harry down, "I'll take you to Madam Pomfrey if you want. You should get that bandaged up."

"Nah. It's fine." Harry started to walk with her to class, clutching his bookbag to his chest as he walked. They remained silent all the way to the dungeons, and to Harry's surprise, they were late, "of course." he mumbled.

They pushed the door open, and Snape looked up from his desk, "Ms. Granger, aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?" he asked, standing up and walking over to the two, towering above them with a glare on his face. It was directed more at Hermione, though.

"Yes, sir. I was just bringing Harry to class." She said and gave him a look, then left the class before he could ask why she had to bring him to class. Snape stared after her before turning and going back to his desk.

"Sit down, Potter." Snape snapped, but didn't take points. Everyone in the class wondered why he hadn't taken points for Harry being tardy, "I thought you wouldn't show."

Harry sat down in his spot next to Draco, who was eyeing him suspiciously, before Snape began his lesson. Not like it would've mattered; Harry didn't even need to be in classes anymore. He knew he'd pass. And if Voldemort was still out after his 7th year, he'd most likely live at the castle.

"This potion is used as a memory breaker." Snape said, then glanced at Harry, who had choked back a surprised cry. He made a mental note not to make Harry take the potion. Instead, Lavendar could take it, "if someone has been given a memory charm, this potion is given to the person to remove it. If the memories are forced back.."

Harry tuned him out, but continued to stare dumbly at Snape. _Why_ was Snape being **such** an ass about the situation? Had he even realized that Harry was having problems with things like this?

"Hey, " Draco nudged him out of his thoughts, keeping his voice low, "you're bleeding."

"I know." Harry replied, just as quietly, "punched the mirror."

Draco smirked and turned his attention back to the professor. Harry rolled his eyes at Snape and put his head on his desk. Before he knew it, a memory had slipped into his concious, and no matter how hard he tried to stop it, it came.

_"Severus!" Voldemort snapped, sitting at a table across from Harry, who was chained to the chair._

Snape entered the room, not even looking in Harry's direction. The professor bowed in front of Voldemort, handing a bottle of pink potion to his master.

"Is this all?" Voldemort sneered, and Snape nodded.

"That's all that is needed." Snape replied with another bow, "nightmares and as soon as Sirius Black is killed, the Mark will appear."

Voldemort smirked, staring hard at Harry, who looked uncomfortable at the two men in front of him.

"Prepare Lucius Malfoy. And make sure young Draco is there to watch." Voldemort's tone made Harry panic. Something was going to happen to him, and Draco Malfoy was going to be there to watch. Shit shit shit.

"Yes, sir." Snape bowed once more before turning to leave, giving Harry a small sympathetic look before leaving the room.

"Don't worry, Potter." Voldemort hissed, standing up, shaking the bottle of potion in his right hand, "you will have great fun."

"Potter!" Draco elbowed Harry in the ribs, and Harry snapped out of the memory, "what the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

Everyone in the class was busy doing their potion, and Snape was watching the room, the usual smirk upon his face. Harry stared at him angrily. Snape had betrayed everyone by causing the nightmares, and the Dark Mark.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled, not taking his eyes off of Snape. Draco looked in the direction, then back at Harry.

"What are you staring at? Snape?" Draco asked with a slight smirk.

"Yeah." Harry said, then blinked, "what do we have to do?"

Snape came over and stopped in front of the table, "Malfoy, get working. Potter -" he stopped and looked down at Harry's hands that were folded on the table, "-you're bleeding."

"I know." Harry said through gritted teeth, but said nothing more. Snape narrowed his eyes, turned his back, and walked off.

Draco nudged him again, "what's going on with you two? You're both acting really weird."

"He lied to me." Harry stood up, grabbed his books, and stalked out of the classroom, ignoring Snape's yelling. Points were taken from Gryffindor, then from Ravenclaw because Lavendar started in on Snape about not being able to control anyone.

--------------------------

God, this took me like..*looks*..2 hours to write, and my stomach's starting to hurt again. God, I HATE being sick!

*sobs* The 5th book has been confirmed to come out NEXT year. F*ck that! I've been waiting forever. God. Damn idiots.

::But no matter how many fish in the sea, it'd be so empty without me:: 


	15. //You know I'd walk 1000 miles\\

**DISCLAIMER**: Draco is not mine, nor is he JK Rowlings. He is Shinko's *laughs like Spongebob: BAHAHAHAHA*

Lmfao, did anyone catch the Spongebob episode where he ate the bomb/pie? So whenever Squidword imagined Spongebob blowing up, it was either when he was handing food to a customer or when he starts laughing *bahahahahahaha!* and he explodes? God, that was the best episode ever.

I think I'm the only person in the world who has a Spongebob decal on their car.

-----*-----

The Bloody Baron hovered above the ground in a sitting position in front of Harry, who had his head in his hands.

"There's no use moping about it, boy." The Baron said, tilting his head, trying to see past Harry's hands.

"I'm **not** moping." Harry replied, "I'm just mad that he's been lying to me."

"What's he been lying to you about?" The Baron raised an eyebrow, and Harry looked up, glaring at him, "okay. Guess not. Why don't you speak to Draco Malfoy about it?"

Harry laughed bitterly, "_Malfoy_? What is with you and Nearly Headless Nick and Malfoy? Honestly, it's not like I like him or anything, but all you two is go on and on about him. I never even talked to Nick before this year, and now all the sudden it's Malfoy this and Malfoy that.." he continued to babble endlessly before he put his head back in his hands, "just go away."

"If you don't like Draco, why is it that you just spent the past minute talking about how you _don't_ like him?" The Baron asked before floating off through the ceiling. Harry glared after him before he stood up.

Potions would be over soon, and Harry knew he'd end up having to go to detention with the man for a week. It was bad enough Harry knew exactly what was happening, but now he had to spend hours with the man.

"Damn Potter!" Draco smirked, walking up to Harry with a smirk, "I've never see Snape so pissed. Good job."

"Yeah, thanks." Harry mumbled, eyeing Snape's dungeon classroom, waiting for Snape to billow out and scream and take points. He never came, though.

"What did you mean when you said he lied to you?" Draco asked, pushing Harry toward the staircase, and the two started walking upstairs. Harry studied the expression on Draco's face, and silently cursed. He looked guilty and scared about something.

"Just that." Harry answered, "what are you, stupid? He lied to me, but I'm not about to tell you what it was about."

Draco glared but said nothing as they rounded the corner and started up the steps. He cleared his throat then said, "thanks for, you know, when I was upset."

"You're welcome." Harry licked his lips before saying, "and thanks, about the other day.."

"Hey, " Draco stopped him at the top of the stairs, "that's what friends do, right? They're there for one another when something bad's happening?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Friends my ass." Harry chortled in laughter, and Draco gave him a half smile, "you think we're friends?"

Draco nodded, "you're more of a friend than I've ever had in my life. I mean, everyone saw how upset I was right when school started, but nobody asked me if I was okay. And you were there for me at my breaking point." He gave Harry a half grin, "thanks."

"Oh, " Harry frowned, starting to feel a little guilty for being mad at Draco, because after all, he was _there_ with Voldemort, and.."Draco, do you know what's wrong with me?"

"Uh.." Draco narrowed his eyes, "no. Why would I? Except for the fact that your Godfather died. Why, is something else wrong?"

Harry studied him a moment before saying, "no. Nothing's wrong. Thanks anyway."

"Because I do think that you're my friend." Draco tilted his head, "my _best_ friend."

"I said thanks anyway." Harry gave him a small grin before turning and walking away to get to his next class. He got to Lupin's class before anyone else, so he decided to complain to his professor about what was happening.

"Hey. Are you feeling better?" Lupin asked, eyeing Harry when he entered the classroom. He started to get up, noticing the look of anger on his face, "what's wrong?"

"Snape!" Harry fell into a desk and folded his arms, "he lied to me, and you, and Dumbledore."

"About what?" Lupin scowled, sitting on the desk in front of Harry, putting his feet in the chair.

"My nightmares and Mark." Harry narrowed his eyes at the desk, kicking the chair Lupin's feet were on, "and I can't wait until I can tell Dumbledore about that traitor."

Lupin raised his eyebrows, "what do you mean by that?"

"You know how I told you yesterday that all I remembered was the night the Dursley's died?" Harry asked, leaning forward, "I lied. I remember a lot of things, but I don't want to think about them because they really scare me. But in Potions today I remembered Snape, and he mixed a pink potion for Voldemort. They forced it into me. I think they made it up themselves, because I've never heard of anything like it before. Snape told him that once Sirius was dead, the Mark would be placed on my arm."

"He..he what?" Lupin gasped, and his eyes flashed with anger, "I _knew_ that bloody git was no good! I've known it since my first year here." the professor stood up and started to the door, "watch the class while I go tell Dumbledore."

"NO!" Harry jumped up and grabbed his arm, "_no way_. You're NOT going to tell on him. I want to speak to Snape first before Dumbledore finds out." Harry pleaded, "there's not use in telling Dumbledore _now_. I mean, the damage has already been done."

"For all we know, Snape could be a spy for him!" Lupin hissed, trying to pull his arm from Harry's grasp.

"Last I heard, Snape was a spy for us! Please stop. Don't tell. Don't be like Sirius and take the easy way. We might regret it." Harry whispered, staring up at Lupin pleadingly, "let me just talk to Snape."

"This is your life that's on the line!" Lupin glared, then sighed, "but if you want to act suicidal by not telling, then fine. Talk to him after supper, and if you don't, I'm telling Dumbledore first thing in the morning."

Harry smiled a little, "you're going to be the easiest person to manipulate. Can't wait for summer break." Lupin went to playfully hit Harry, but he jumped back and went to his desk, smirking at Lupin from across the room, "loony loopy Lupin."

-----*-----

After supper, Harry nervously walked down to the dungeons toward Snape's office. He had no idea how to start his conversation with Snape. Should he straight out say he knew what had happened, or ease into the topic. Questions were racing through his head as he tried to think of what he'd say, and before he knew it, he was standing in front of Snape's office, knocking on the door. A few minutes later, Snape opened, and scowled at Harry.

"What do you need? A sleeping potion?" He asked, opening his door to let Harry into the room.

"No, actually, I..uh.." Harry stood nervously inside as Snape shut the door and walked over to a table with hundreds of bottles of different kinds of potions, "I wanted to tell you that Professor Lupin had removed some kind of memory charm." Snape, who had been rummaging through a cupboard, froze.

"Oh really?" Snape asked casually, continuing to search through the cupboard, "find anything interesting in that head of yours?"

"Don't play stupid." Harry said angrily, "you put this..this thing on my arm, and you screwed up my head so that I always have nightmares!" Harry narrowed his eyes, "_why_!?"

"To tell the truth, Potter, I was blackmailed into it." Snape calmly turned and rested his eyes on Harry, "I knew what was going on, but if I said anything, I'd be killed. Not only would I be killed, but everything Voldemort knows about me would be revealed."

"Why?" Harry asked, "why do this to me? Why torture me for the whole summer with nightmares? Why kill Sirius, my only family?"

"Because Voldemort knew the only way to get rid of nightmares caused by Morrigan would be through him. Don't ask me why, " Snape held up his hands nervously, "that's all he said. Reilly's on his side. The only reason Reilly is even in on this is because his family is being spared by every nightmare you have. If my potion fails, then Reilly and I fail, and our families and lives are gone. I'm sorry."

Harry blinked, "you used me? You used me so that you wouldn't die?! You're more of a coward than Wormtail! At least Sirius and my father protected me by dying!"

"You were a powerful _child_. My son is _not_ powerful like you. He stands no chance, " Snape paused, narrowing his eyes, "because I'm not even very powerful. Your father was the best wizard of our school when he went here. I always knew you'd be better than everyone else, but as the Boy Who Lived, well I didn't expect _that_! I'm protecting my own damn family here, Potter! You'd understand if you had one!"

Harry's eyes widened in shock, and he took a step back from Snape, who realized what he said.

"Crap, Harry, I didn't mean that." Snape blinked, taking a step to Harry.

"Get away from me." Harry whispered, "Dumbledore's going to hear about this. And when he does, you'll be fired, and then you and your stupid worthless family will be murdered." His voice remained quiet, straining as he tried to keep his anger and hurt down. Snape opened his mouth to say something, but Harry turned on his heel and left the dungeon.

As Harry ran down the corridor to his flat, the only thought he had was _they will **all** pay_.

------------------

Another short one. But it's supposed to build up to the plot. Which means this story's gonna be over 20 chapters long *yay!*

And I know a lot of you are wondering what the hell Harry's nightmare's have to do with this story. A few of them could be inherited Seeing traits from his father. Maybe not. Or maybe they were something that had happened, and he just found out because the memory charm had been taken off. Who knows, besides me?

I love the following people:

MOI - Lmao, no, you made no sense about the whole Draco no acting weird thing. Oh well, I think I'll live! Rock the socks? Didn't I make a comment about that on Dragon Tears? *smirks* Rock the socks..

Chrisseeee667 - I know you're confused about Harry's dreams. However, like I explained *points* up there, I'll have that all sorted out no later than the last chapter.

Sou - I'm glad you finished your book. What was it? I'm also glad you started a fic and a lemon. My life's boring, hence the fact that these chapters get out all the freakin time.

Laurie - I hope you're not sick anymore. I got over it. It was a 24 hour thing, thank God! I had about 1 piece of make up work, though, which is so good for me. Yay! Well, thanks for saying chapter 14 was *another* great chapter. Hope this one was okay.

SoulSister - Snape's a jackass. As always. He was turning nice, but that's because he thought since Harry would never find out, he wouldn't have to worry. But now, that's all down the drain.

AngelDustBuster - Hope you had fun in the other STATE amusement park today! *hugs* You did get me sick, but I'll forgive you. Dancing queen, only 17..

Prophetess of Heart - *grins* nice little review. Gave you more! 

Lin-z - Sure thing, I'll email you now every time I update! My story's not amazing, but..you know, I think my plot's kind of different than the other's out there. Then again, every story has a different plot. I feel much better - thanks!

Evil-Chicken-Wrath - Did you know that chickens are like you and me, except they are chickens?

Shinks - Do I even have to thank you anymore? You know how much I love you for being the coolest person (aside from like, everyone else I talk to, but that's beside the point) you always read this crap, and I thank you my dear. Yes, I love you even *more* because you gave me that name Caelum! I might use it for an Original Story I'm going to start up later tonight..

::Two trailer park girls go around the outside:: 

Also - I have a new short story called 'The Color of Love'. It's a DM/HP slash kind of thing. Harry's blind in it. It made this one girl cry, but you know..if you can R&R that one, I'd really love you more for reading that than this.

Also ALSO - Go to my other story that I'm co-writing with AngelDustBuster. It's called 'Walking Contradiction', and it's on the pen name 'LadybugInvaders'. It's pretty good, considering it's not a slash. We both *ADB and I* love it. 


	16. //It's what we're all about\\

I've changed my mind about this being 20+ chapters.

This shall be the final chapter of Morrigan.

Don't have a heart attack, though. A sequel is already in the making. If you wish to be contacted about being told when the sequel's posted, you've three ways to reach me:

**Instant Messaging:**

AIM - Pathetic Invader 

Yahoo - Blurrymudd 

MSN - digitalnfreaky@hotmail.com 

Fanfiction.net Messenger - Pathetic Invader

**Email:**

liz@patheticmutt.com

Just leave me a note, with your Email/AIM/Yahoo/MSN/FF.Net info and I'll surely contact you ASAP.

Or, just check back to my profile and check from there.

The title I'm thinking of right now for the sequel is: Without Me.

-----*-----

"Come on, Potter." Voldemort's red eyes stared hard at Harry, "you want to join me, no?"

"I want to be rid of my nightmares." Harry replied quietly, and Voldemort smirked and nodded.

"I knew you'd come to me." Voldemort started to walk around the room, "I will rid you of the demon if you do something for me."

"What do you want?" Harry asked, his image wavering. He knew it was a nightmare. Or was it?

"Join me, Potter." Voldemort's mouth twisted into a somewhat natural looking smile, "join me, and we will rule all of this, " he waved his hand over an empty table that turned into a sort of movie projection of villages, towns and people. Wizarding people, "because Potter, I am great, but with you, _we_ are greater."

Harry looked around the room for a split second, "why?"

"Why?" Voldemort raised an eyebrow, "you heard Snape! He betrayed you and I, then insulted you because you have no family. I have no family either. That is why we are perfect."

"You killed your family."

"I did, but that doesn't matter. Snape has to pay for the pain he's put you through. Sirius killed himself because he was selfishly hiding important information _from_ you." Voldemort stood in front of the fading image of Harry, "he knew what had happened. And he was withholding information from you about the nightmares and Dark Mark. He wasn't going to tell you about it."

"So..so he killed himself so that I would be officially initiated and become a Death Eater?" Harry's eyes widened, "he _wanted_ me to be part of your group?"

"Of course he did." Voldemort sighed before eyeing Harry, "you have four hours from now until daybreak. When the sun rises, I will have my best Death Eaters outside of Diagon Alley with your robes. If you are not there, everyone in Diagon Alley will be killed."

"I'll be there." Harry whispered, "I want everyone to pay for what they've put me through."

Voldemort nodded, his red eyes glinting mischievously.

*

Harry woke up from his dream and immediately stood up. He glanced at the clock. It read 2 AM. 4 hours until sunrise. He grabbed his bookbag and dumped out it's contents on his bed, then put in a pair of jeans and a shirt for later. He grabbed his key for his vault at the bank, putting it in his pocket. Then he left his flat, going down to the kitchen to get something to eat. The house elves were asleep, so he snuck in and opened the refrigerator, grabbing an apple.

"Mr. Harry Potter sir?"

Harry spun around as lights turned on in the kitchen. He let out a sigh of relief when Dobby rushed him, hugging him tightly.

"Hey Dobby. Sorry, I was just really hungry. I didn't have supper." Harry lied, pulling away from Dobby.

"Oh! What do you want, sir? Dobby will make it for you!" Dobby asked, going to the cupboard to pull out something to cook in.

"No, no." Harry forced a smile, "I don't want anything else. Thanks though. I'll visit you after classes later on, alright?" Harry gave another smile as Dobby excitedly hugged Harry, then ushered him out of the kitchen to go back to bed.

Instead of going back to his flat, Harry went up to the owlery. He sat down at the desk that was there to write notes to his friends. First, he wrote a letter to Lupin.

_Dear Professor Lupin, _

As you and everyone else might've seen, I'm not at breakfast. In fact, I'm not at school. I've run away. Not too sure where I'm going yet. Maybe I'll write you when I get there, just to tell you I'm okay. I've got my wand with me, and my Invisibility Cloak. I'll be perfectly safe. Don't worry about me.

It became clear to me when I was speaking to Snape after supper that I'm not exactly taken seriously. I discovered I've been used to protect his family. Ask him all about it when you get the chance. He'll be very willing to tell, I believe.

Don't try to look for me. I won't be found.

Take care. I love you. I'll miss you.

Harry.

He folded it up and stuffed it into an envelope, and carefully folded up his much used Marauders's Map, putting it into the envelope with his letter. Then, he wrote "Remus Lupin" on the front, then set it aside. He then started to write another letter.

_Ron,_

I've gone away, because Snape told me things last night I didn't want to know. Don't worry about me. I'll be safe. I'm not sure where I'm going yet, but I'll know when I get there. I have my wand and Invisibility Cloak, and I won't lose those.

Don't try to look for me. I won't be found.

Take care. I love you. I'll miss you.

Harry

He stuffed that into an envelope and labeled it "Ron Weasley". He dipped his quill into the ink and began to write Hermione.

_Hermione,_

Just as I've told Ron, Professor Lupin and Draco in my letters to them, I've run away. Don't ask where, because no one knows. Not even I do. Reilly Kristoph and Professor Snape were in on something with Voldemort, and I don't want to be anywhere near the two. Don't tell Ron that, because I think he'll either murder Snape, or go around telling everyone so that he's fired. I don't want Snape fired, because he's got a family to support. Same goes for Reilly. Hermione, you're smart. I love you because of that. I know that no matter what, you won't tell anyone my secret.

Draco knows this, but I think he has a memory charm. When Sirius died, it triggered a spell/potion I had in my body, and the Dark Mark appeared on my arm. Lupin removed a memory charm that was placed on me, and now I remember everything.

I want to be away from everyone at school. Professors and students. Everybody's been upsetting me a lot lately.

Don't try to look for me. I won't be found.

Take care. I love you. I'll miss you.

Harry

He re-read the letter, trying to decide whether or not he should cross out the part about the Death Eater. Then again, it was Hermione. She was unpredictable about things like this. She could keep quiet, or tell Ron, who would tell everyone. Harry put the letter in another envelope, wrote her name on the front, and started on Draco's letter.

_Draco,_

I ran away. Either you know why, or you don't. It doesn't matter, because I'm not explaining in this letter.

Instead, I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else. I think the Bloody Baron knows for some reason. He kept hinting that he did yesterday. Whatever. Draco, I'm not someone to be friend's with. I can't be friends with you, knowing I'll put you in danger. So instead, I'm going to tell you something that'll make you hate me. Despise me. Hopefully, hate me enough so that you'll forget about us being friends. I -

Harry paused, staring at the paper. It was as hard to do in a letter as it was in person.

_I really like you, Draco. Not in the friend way. More than that. When you were depressed about your father, I felt so bad for you. I wanted to take all your pain away, but I couldn't. I knew you didn't feel the same about me that I do for you. But I'm okay with that. Life isn't supposed to be perfect for me, in any aspect. I want you to hate me, because..because if you were, or are, my friend, it puts you in so much danger. I don't want you in danger._

Don't try to look for me. I won't be found.

Take care. I love you. I'll miss you the most.

Harry

He folded the letter before he could tear it up, shoved it into the envelope, and wrote Draco's name on the front. He stood up and went to Hedwig's perch, waking her up.

"You have to deliver these to Hermione, okay?" Harry asked softly, putting the envelopes under her wing, "I love you. I'll miss you so much. Take care, Hedwig." She hooted groggily, nipping at his fingers, concerned, "I'll be okay. Don't worry about me."

Harry kissed her head lightly before grabbing his bookbag and hurrying off. He grabbed his wand and walked to the statue that would lead him into Hogsmeade. From there, he'd call the Knight Bus to take him to Diagon Alley, where he'd clean out his vault (or most of it, he decided, in case he needed the money at a later time), then go to the outskirts and wait for the sunrise. The plan was perfect. All he hoped was that his dream had been real.

-----*-----

_At breakfast..Owl Post.._

Professor Lupin was taking a drink of coffee, sifting through his mail that had just arrived. Students were talking animatedly, ignoring the professors as usual. The latest copy of _The Daily Prophet_ was among the stack of letters. A few were from old school friends. Other's were basic crap mail. One, which was thick, said, "Remus Lupin". He opened it, taking another sip of his coffee, and pulled out two pieces of parchment. He opened the first, which was old and yellow, and spit out his coffee. It was blank, but he knew what it was.

"What the hell?" He mumbled, tapping it with his wand and saying, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." the map, just as he suspected, was _his_. He opened the letter that accompanied his map, and let out a choking sob.

At the same time, Ron, Hermione and Draco were going through their mail. They all picked up their letters from Harry and read them. Hermione let out a strangled cry, her eyes filling with tears. Ron growled angrily, already making up a plot to murder Snape. Draco just stared dumfoundly at the letter, all his emotions evident on his face.

The Boy Who Lived was..was _gone_.

-------------------

Did Harry make it to Hogsmeade? Was he murdered? Did he even _meet_ Death Eaters? Find out in the sequel ;)

Sequel: Without Me. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=799020 


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